Adventures in Babysitting

I was minding my own business just babysitting away the other day when all of a sudden this magnificent creature caught my eye just outside the window:



I couldn't believe my eyes. An elk-mini? A deer with huge antlers in broad daylight on God's green earth on this very day at this very hour for me to marvel at? I promptly opened my flip phone and started snapping away. I tried to get the four month old to understand how exciting this was and I was even (oh soooo briefly) tempted to wake up the 18 month old because surely...this was a rare occurrence?! The four month old responded to my excitement by just spitting up all over my clean shoulder (for the 15th NOT an exaggeration time that hour) and didn't seem in the least bit interested. I watched as the lawn mower men didn't seem to care either (who were either smoking joints or home made cigarettes the entire time they mowed...none of my business I suppose).

An hour later the elk-mini/deer with huge antlers seemed to have not moved a centimeter and so I squinted and squinted and moved to another window to get a closer look.....and then I realized it was all an elaborate farce and the animal was a total fake. I'm not sure why anyone would have such a realistic looking elk/deer in their yard standing oh so realistically and majestically to taunt all who enter their sitting room. Target practice? A children's toy? the hunter's version of the pink flamingo?

And so...I was left to try to solve other exciting mysteries lurking about the house. I never quite figured out what was in this particular baby bottle:


a goldfish smoothie? A carrot milkshake? spit up mixed with V8?

I'll let you be the judge....