miscellaneous (be warned: lengthy)

 Yesterday was a really tough day with Julia. I think (though I have no one to compare her to) she is generally a pretty easygoing baby so I thought I might lose all of my marbles forever in one silly little day.  She woke up in an ocean of urine (this doesn't happen infrequently) which I don't understand...isn't that what diapers are for? Her diaper was completely dry which would would lead me to believe that she certainly has interesting (and talented?) aim. I tried washing her mattress pad thing that won't fit in the washing machine because it is attached to some covered cardboard or hard plastic with 'soap and mild water' (not sure what mild water is) like the internet told me to do but the putrid smell remained so my only victory of the day came when I got serious about the task and used pungent bubble bath which happened to work like a real charm. She then refused to nap all ding dong day and by refuse I mean scream at the 14,000th foot of her lungs and bite her little hands with her little Chiclet teeth leaving weird little snake bite looking marks until I relented and picked her up...14 times in a row (this is not an exaggeration) and I know that I am not tough loving her by doing so....indulge indulge indulge is my firm philosophy. She was only somewhat happy if I walked around and gave a detailed narration of what was in the house ("and these are our pet dust bunnies and that is a picture when mom used to sit in the front seat of the car like a big grown up and this is the bathroom...please stop panting it is not bath time...and this is mom's third glass of wine this morning...fine just a little taste for you though...okay, okay just one more sip but don't drink it all...my box is almost drained.") I'll spare you all of the complainy and mundane other details but Simon had a talk to go to after work and wouldn't be getting home until later than usual which made noon feel like six am and by three pm I had maybe (but maybe not) shed a frustrated tear or two. Pathetic Grace with only one child to watch. I'm lucky she isn't old enough to throw up, get into the pantry or smear the delicious contents of her diaper on the walls....I know. It was still a rough and exasperating day.

And now I suppose it would be natural to launch into some nice little sentimental discourse about how despite the terribly unfortunate occurrence of these rotten days I am still so happy to stay at home with Julia...which I am happy of course but I am just going to type a little run-on sentence chalking it up to a real conundrum of a bad day that I didn't learn anything from and that I hope never ever repeats itself. Please never.  

Now that I have that off my fingertips, let us move on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To reward and reinforce Julia's excellent behavior I used a little more of the sheet that just keeps on giving and made her some sailor/jailbird pants:

(photos taken circa 3:30 in the am..after a two hour middle of the night play session..I was certain she was sleeping through the night for good...always a little something up her sleeve)

she has been religiously reading the fashion blogs and knows that mixing patterns is in in in

I then took this odd tank top 

(that I believe I've only wore once...over a turtleneck...to a bar...super fancy style)

waved my magic sewing wand in the air and made Julia a small something

I don't know.
Maybe a little nightgown or swimsuit cover up...we'll see where she runs with this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Next order of business

I found out yesterday that a very funny, very smart and very witty friend of mine reads this blog (megan) and it intimidated me to no end and made me want to instantly delete the entire thing once and for all realizing that more than my parents and siblings are reading.


I've seen other blogs do 'delurk yourself' posts but I think it only works if people read the blog. So unveil yourself if you dare...pretty please. It would really help if all of my siblings (including the family pets) could comment under aliases and my parents could comment thrice each. Again...pretty, pretty please. If I only get two comments this post will be promptly deleted....maybe the whole blog will take its dying breath...I never know.

Please don't be shy...I'm the weirdo that has a blog.

hasta tomorrow or never.

smile.


(yikes...that didn't mean to sound as sinister as it may seem to some)

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a jaybird, a jacket and an Eagle Scoutess all rolled into an ill-fitting title

another day

another blog post

another yay from the audience

someone figured out how to take photos of themselves yesterevening:

little scandalina

caught and captured by Simon

who thought his fleece jacket would substitute nicely for a towel 

 (until he started capital F Freaking when Julia had maybe had a little accident on said chaqueta)

Other than rejoicing over my .6 mile drive to the grocery store without so much as a peep from Julia and feeding Julia the 18 meals of solid food she suddenly requires I did exactly two things yesterday:

1. made and promptly devoured this delicious salad 

(world's perfect food marriage: mozzarella, tomato, avocado and because we are carnivores....chicken)

2. made and did not devour this skirt

 which is basically the result of many lessons learned from the train wreck of the white skirt I tried to make last week and the drawstring potato sack from Monday. . .as Simon often tells me over and over and over again .... 

"you have to start somewhere"

yes, thank you support system

this one might actually make it out into a public setting but probably not...this post just might be enough

 I'm pretty hopeful that I'll make Eagle Scout soon with all of these countless hours of sewing, repairing my sewing machine and refraining from chucking my sewing machine out the window all while rearing the basically perfect child. 

We'll see I suppose.

and a big gulp kudos to Simon who has been working quite a lot on some really not fun paper involving pressure ulcers (more boring than gross or more gross than boring?) after driving a not fun distance for his not fun rotation and does not complain (unlike his fun wife and docile daughter)

see you tomorrow...don't worry.

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short bells and cockle shells

With the warmer temperatures undoubtedly imminent I decided to pull out my (formerly) favorite capris last night...just for fun

oh. 

I must've forgotten that they were size extra flared and extra slimming. 

(Don't mind my housecoat. I wish I could say I staged this look and tried to look this frumpalump but...this is au natural my friends. Simon loves coming home after a long day at the office to my open arms donning my most feminine wares. Lucky man.)

They marched in for their slaughtering and came out hugging my legs a little too snuggly

whoops

paired with one thoroughly ironed metallic shirt and my house slippers 

(and do my eyes deceive or is my scar finally and graciously fading every so slightly?)

hm. what else to report?

After I handed off a freshly bathed Julia to Simon this evening, he did (seriously) ask why I wash Julia's hair with shampoo that smells like the inside of a porta potty. 

I directed him to the execs over at Johnson and Johnson. 

Whatev, Simone.

and that is just about all folks. 

wave wave.

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gloom and doom

just kidding. 

sort of. 

Why is it suddenly winter weather all over again? I've pitched my large and roomy tent in unhappy camper land until this most unwelcome cold front is gone for good.

Moving right along..let's start things off with a bang, shall we?

I have three Simon Says:

Simon: "I'm doing the shy di"

right-o

1. Simon: when is Father's day?

Grace: mmm I think maybe in June? I'm not quite sure...why?

Simon: I just need to know when to start dropping gift hints, thanks.

2. Simon and I went on a nice little Julialess date on Saturday night. Simon opted to wear his 'skinny' (fitted) dress pants for the occasion...and when the night was nearly over he admitted, 

"I've been getting a lot of up downs and I feel really cheap. I don't like it."

3. After trying to teach Simon how to feed Julia baby food three times over the course of two weeks and she dribbled a little bit down onto her chin he claimed, 

"I just wouldn't know what judgement call to make in those situations!"

next item of business:

little miss piggy

Our 6.2 month old had a busy weekend escaping from her car seat by way of 94 violent back arches in a row, managing to get around the house rather quickly on her back (a rare talent I'm sure), cutting another tooth and teaching herself how to finally roll over like a big three month old. Never not wild city around here. Next weekend she might spring for some orthodontia and start running 5K races...we just never know with her. 

and the matriarch busied herself with the making of this unfashionable skirt yesterday:

 it might look like a re-purposed pillowcase but I can assure you it is merely a section of a bed sheet ...

and don't ask how I got my hair to emulate that of Aragorn's luscious locks...

I'm still not sure myself

and now I'm off to go look up recipes for a mediocre dinner because that's how I'm rolling these gray days. 

Sorry I'm not sorry.

hasta mananananana

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copycat: novice/idiot edition

other appropriate titles for this post:

the skirt that very nearly sent me to the loony bin

the skirt that gave my sewing machine arthritis

or

my husband is married to a crazy person

all fitting. all true.

I saw that the very talented Kayla had been inspired by this skirt:

and just whipped it up...beautifully. 

I stupidly (oh so stupidly) thought I could do something similar. 

laughy cackle. nope.

I thought I had overcome my hurdle of buttonhole sewing...(I'm still not sure what I was doing wrong)...I practiced several times

but when it came time for the live show...

 ugly hit the fan at warped speed

and we won't even dive into the menagerie of other issues I ran into with this project. . .(involving reading multiple sewing machine troubleshooting forums for hours. . .taking the sewing machine apart eight times and becoming bff+e with the seam ripper and owner's manual)

97 cleansing breaths.

here is the final product (I didn't have any white linen on hand so I used an orphaned sheet)

yes, it looks like an apron or a skirt made from a sheet

 I think it looks better worn backwards

but I don't imagine upper thigh hind pockets would be too terribly becoming

In other (less important) news...Julia is now a big six month old

She is still not rolling over nor is she showing any interest in doing so (cue judgmental dual eyebrow raise) but she does have one tooth, sleeps through the night and enjoys playing with dirty wet washcloths, plastic grocery sacks and sharp knives.

That's all I wrote for today. 

goodbye. 

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never ends

Back from our fruitless hunt! 

All that I have to report is that with thirty minutes left of our trip Julia filled her diaper, her outfit and her car seat with some very pungent love. . .

 because you wanted to know

~~~~~~~~~

Before we left for our trip on Sunday we went to an early Mass. Julia naturally insisted on wearing her Sunday best consisting of a thick coat of mascara, ruffly dress and purple socks:

but that didn't stop someone from exclaiming, "what a nice young boy!" and "he's the spitting image of his father!!!" as Simon carried her outside.

polite nod, smile and quick earmuffs for Julian

(this quote may or may not be courtesy of a certain reader's father...maybe)

until tomorrow, 

Grace 

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hgtvless

checking in from a furrowed brow, crinkled forehead haze of fun in St. Louis

um...

I thought house hunting was just like House Hunters and Property Virgins....you see three feasible properties..ooh and ahh over the 'great use of space', 'open floor plan' and 'updated kitchen' (!!!!)....discuss the purchase over ice water, chips and salsa at a nondescript restaurant...make an offer...chew on cuticles for a few hours and viola.....

homeownership club be ours!!!!

no

no

no

something more like being horrified by a series of ugly house, semi-ok house, bad house with neighbor smoking with baby on lap, nice house with crotchety neighbors, nice house with 1.5 kitchen cabinets total...repeat repeat repeat 

onward and upward with our positive (yet skeptical) attitude pants cinched tightly...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

we'll end on a happy note with some pre-trip photos of a sunshine bound Julia and her cruel mom...

sayonara for now!

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matchy match

I'm not sure what I'm happier about: today's match day results or the fact that I survived yesterday's car ride with crazy crazy J. . .

Yesterday morning as Simon and I were trying to pack up the 89 tons of 'necessary' stuff that Julia brought down to New Mexico ... I tried to save time and asked her Uncle Pedro to get her dressed... 

several minutes later he came in with the little lady stuck in her sausage casing of a onesie:

saying, "I'm sure this happens all the time."

in a word? no

and the majority of the day in the car...Julia's car seat allergy flared up what seemed like every two minutes...:

....but most excitedly congratulations to Simone for matching in OB/GYN in St. Louis!!
happy wife and missing bebe accessory

awkward family photos...

(his shirt undoubtedly won several originality contests)

so...if any readers are hailing from the STL and have room for some totally normal friends on your friendship bracelet....let us know

Feliz St. Patrick's Dia!

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...continued

I think that it is fair to say that a healthy dose of sports and craziness have dominated our last few days on vacashe...

 Paul, Simon and Julia enjoyed shooting hoops and and playing with an elephant rattle bracelet at dusk

 

(Julia complains of serious vacation weight gain...I don't necessarily disagree)

lots of serious ping pong trash talking and game playing...

NCAA bracket filling...

someone got a hold of super glue and some ribbon...

(never not channeling Anne Geddes)

the shethletes: basketball player, runner-walker-slower walker and fist gnawer

and we have one lazy mom basking in the baby's down for the night happiness savoring her weekly garbage

thank you Simon...for capturing my finest moments

and I'm off to have an anxiety attack or ten about tomorrow's drive with crazy J. She seems to be entertained for two minute segments with alternating Britney Spears lip synching and an ugly mom scowl mixed with loud pig snorting....

should make for a fun day

(and a little quote from an unnamed brother: claiming he didn't want to ride in the car with us in case he was, "too much of a botherance" ... so considerate)

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so far, so fun

Spring Break 2011 is well underway. . .

We'll start from the morning and work our way up the excitement ladder

 

1. Julia always ensures we are wide awake to enjoy the pretty New Mexican sunrises

sweetheart

2. Simon introduced a new game to Julia he likes to call the 'reverse princess and the pea'

she obviously loves

3. She has been spending lots of quality time with her uncles

not pictured: as I was waking up from a nap on Sunday...I heard and smelled Paul and Peter changing Julia's dirty diaper with the guidance of a Youtube tutorial. smart boys.

4. 

happy spring breakers 

5. Julia experienced her first shower

yippee.

6. and most excitedly, Paul's team won state

Julia played her part well in setting up for the victory fiesta fiesta

(photo courtesy of the Albuquerque Journal...whether they know it or not)

and...three days until Match Day for Simone...where will we go? Nobody knows...but all appendages crossed tightly.

with love, 

Grace

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spring break

This is what the aftermath of ten hours in the car on the world's most boring two lane highway with an ornery 5.5 month old, a John Grisham novel on CD and a geriatric female race car driver on your tail looks like:

not on speaking terms 

and unfortunately, my spider leg hairdo was the least of my worries

As you can probably tell from the scenic background, we are currently hailing from my native land...New Mexico...where I have spotted no fewer than three cars on the interstate adorned with Old English decals of their owner's last names (one in pink with playboy bunnies...little touch of class)

handsome and pretty

We got to watch Paul's team advance to the state basketball finals this morning...

Julia was enthralled:

 no complaints though...Julia had stripped down to her onesie before noon to bask in the most gorgeous weather in the whole entire world and we have twelve eager hands to help with our little bucket of needs.

ah and I almost forgot the quote of the day 

upon seeing Julia's usual lower lip jutted very far out pout, the gentleman taking our tickets at the tournament declared,

"He's all vinegar!!!"

guess so. 

Have a wonderful weekend.

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pants and pants

Even though Julia was an understanding sport about the confetti failure of a onesie from yesterday...I (being a considerate parent) wanted to try to make it up to her. Redemption manifested in brown leggings cut from the cloth of a tank top. 

yee hee haw. 

Little Julio

 

no room to grow though. deprived childhood. 

I bought these linen pants a few years ago at a very fancy store. You may have heard of it...Forever XXI? Known for the quality and durability of their finery...

I didn't think it was possible to make them any more unflattering than they were

but I did
paging a wannabe Betty Draper

apparently tapered khakis don't flatter my figure at all

weird

and a small Simon Says:

Last night Simon and I were talking about how we feel a lot older than our ages of 27 years...but after some thought and silence Simon was sure to add,

"...but I'm still dapper!"

agreed. of course.

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the not so amazing grace

Yesterday I decided that Julia should get in on all of the fun sewing action and thought that a simple onesie dressed up with a garden of various flowers should do the trick. Simple and easy and pretty. 

Wrong. 

After cutting out several "flowers" that looked eerily similar to dismembered fabric spiders complete with missing legs and misplaced thoraxes ... I had no choice but to take the easiest street by way of totally realistic looking tulips (or deer hooves) and t-shirt stems.

 This took a really embarrassing amount of time to create. . .maybe because I sewed the onesie together no fewer than four times. So much fun.

El Jardin

Julia was understandably underwhelmed

Of course I fled back to the alterations while licking my supreme failure wounds. 

I bought these pants when I was 20 weeks pregnant with Julia because my thighs had tripled in size and I still needed to look somewhat professional at work

 Professional park ranger at your service 

(not sure what the stain of the day was...Julia's regurgitated chicken baby food? a little leftover dribble of chocolate from the eight Reeses I inhaled five minutes ago?)

Blake Lively might be able to pull off the shoulder pad look but I am no Blake and these sleeves needed some serious depoufing.

after:

 now a park ranger with a side ponytail but at least played down the legitimate female football player look.

yay. 

and of course...Happy Tuesdee...

 fat style

(One of Julia's parentals)

not me

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