h-e-l-p

I'm in a blogging rut. 

black, white and broody all over

I tried to sleep it off by tucking myself in when Julia went down circa seven in the pm last night but I woke up just as rutty as ever. 

I've been hoping to glean some inspiration from my usual sources but they have been pretty boring lately:

Julia hasn't learned any new tricks to report...we're working very hard on her handstands but she just can't quite get it...yet. Remedial little girl. 

She did make a new friend:

and was very disappointed when her vampire tactics didn't work on her buddy, Self.

Simon hasn't said anything funny other than, "trade her in!!" when Julia woke up 67 times too many the other night. 

I think it is too soon after my "Get Rich Quick" novella to write another wordy post (although I did strongly consider boring you with one of my all time favorite stories of how Simon tricked/surprised me with a little ring size getting adventure way back when we were dating...)

Soooo....of course I took my already dead horse out back and beat him even further into a senseless oblivion via yet another alteration of some old pants. 

I found these while tackling my daily flight plan in the laundry room/dungeon the other day. It would seem that I went through a rather lengthy phase of life in which I purchased every pair of business casual slacks I could get my greedy paws on.

case in point:

 to my former self: business casual does not equal well-fitting or remotely flattering

eff

why

eye

I can almost guarantee that no fewer than four minutes after Simon gets home this evening he will take one swift glance at my pants and ask,
"where is your steed and riding crop?"

to which I will reply, "dead and out back."

and before my bff+e, Jess makes a comment about tapering all of my pants...please know that my flares will always far outnumber my tapereds. 

Please refer to here, here, here, here and here. 

(and these don't count because I will never wear them in public...too flattering)

And for my next trick I am now going to reminisce about my old waitressing days at a popular seafood chain while I whip up a small batch of these.

Have a nice weekend, I guess.