geriatric class

I think I will hit my true stride in life when I hit the geriatric stage and age. I always know the current forecast (100 today, 98 tomorrow, 88 the next day..currently 78 degrees with no chance of precipitation) and if ever an awkward pause stunts a conversation I'm sure to broach said forecast with great interest and fervor. I won't glaze your irises with the arsenal of medicines I throwback every evening, noon and morning but Simon dedicated an entire bathroom closet shelf to the storage of my vitamins and various elixirs and even separated them according to pregnancy-safe and pregnancy-nope. When fiber chews came out in gummy form I knew the vitamin gods were smiling bright and wide down on my aged soul. I am incapable of sleeping in, notice when the mailman is even five minutes tardy with our weekly ads and coupons, always drive with my hands at 11 and 1 and am always sure to bump a little Lady Gags when I'm out and about in my whip andddddddd what is my point? None.
Just a little observashe and waste of your 19 seconds. 

Last night I pathetically decided to not even try to make dinner one handed with the super glued diaperbottom at my side even though I had set my sights low on the goal pole with the old 'breakfast for dinner' trick.  I wanted out of the house and Simon kindly obliged with a trip out and about for wipers and dipes ... and then on a quest for some food fuel. Julia was in decent spirits but fading fast and Simon was wearing workout apparel only fit for certain eating establishments such as McDonalds and McDonalds. As we thought about our options in the semi-new-to-us-city Simon seriously suggested the mall food court. . .and I seriously considered the pathetically viable option.

oh dear. 

Class...come find us!

We made a wrong turn somewhere at the crossroads of low and brow.
Next thing you know we'll be taking black and white maternity photos of Simon's hands on my bell framing my button with the shape of a heart

or something equally as awf
cringe
polite laugh
double cringe cringe

I hope you enjoy your holiday weekend.
have a hamburger or ten for me and Julia...we'll be here just clinging and trying out a new diet of Rice Dream, Crystal Light and hot dogs.

happy laboring.