Reasons why I probably won't be picking up any blue ribbons/trophies/honorable mentions at the Steller Moms Go Above and Beyond Convention this year...
If I take Julia on a walk sans Simon...I always listen to music. The louder Julia whines...the higher the volume climbs.
I won't tell you the exact ratio of chicken nugget to fruit/vegetable consumption on Julia's part but it is kind of a lot to kind of a little.
Julia usually sleeps in her (nonrestrictive, stretchy) clothing. Pajamas are for the coddled.
My answer to almost every whine: diluted juice in a bottle.
My answer to the whines that aren't pacified by juice: chicken nuggets.
My answer to the whines that aren't pacified by juice and/or chicken nuggs: ignore button.
Wait...there are two buckles to be fastened on Julia's car seat?
My two favorite times of day and night are nap and bedtime.
Yes, that 3-6 month sized dress works fine as a shirtunic.
Okay...you want to play in the front yard? Well, look before ways before crawlcrossing the street.
She has her own (retired) dedicated and labeled "J" phone charger to gnaw on.
By the time most frozen food I purchase makes it way onto the checkout conveyor belt it generally has leeeedle bite marks all over it. One particularly cheery clerk generously and dramatically applied hand sanitizer to his hands, wrists and forearms--twice--once he realized he had been c-o-n-t-a-m-i-n-a-t-e-d. I think my eyes are still stuck in the rollllled position.
So callous, so mean,
bad m-o-m
Lol! I think we all have a list like this, just some people are brave enough to admit it. My daughter is four and my absolute favorite time of day is bedtime! Lol! By like 8pm I'm counting down the minutes.....
ReplyDeleteYou are hardly a bad mom. My daughters had their own, non-functioning dvd remote for a long time. They always play with/chew on/drop a million times much of the food that we buy at the store, prior to checking out. I dress my girls in small dresses over pants or leggings all the time, and I get frequent compliments that they look cute and that other moms wish they had thought to do that. I also listen to my ipod on walks, and I only turn it off when I put the girls in the swings at the park (which I only do because I feel guilty about walking with the ipod on in the first place).
ReplyDeleteSo, either you're totally normal, or we're both bad moms. Hah!
I'm pretty sure we would be great friends in real life (think I found your blog through the Zuniga ladies?) Anyway, people are too uptight. Cover your major bases, focus more on their spiritual life, & the rest will work itself out... at least I hope so, because that's my philosophy. Ha!
ReplyDeleteIt gets better when you have your second. Mine are 17 months apart and I thought I was laid back with the first...
fellow bad mom
You are idol/role model/parenting guru.
ReplyDeleteThe missing operative word would be *my*
ReplyDeletefeel encouraged: there are a lot of us bad moms around :)
ReplyDeleteHa! no pajamas, diluted juice and shirtunic- these things are sounding Very familiar to me.
ReplyDeletemy favorite is the picture. i love how you found a good picture of you that included blurry, cropped out julia. hahaah
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh. I totally do this and sometimes feel bad that I don't feel bad. And I was never brave enough to admit this until you did first.
ReplyDeleteNot a bad mom. A real mom.