Jillian and I 'met' thanks to ... you guessed it ... the internet. She is another California mom and stays at home with her adorable little Emme. When I was contemplating scratching and deleting Camp Patton in it's entirety this past summer Jillian randomly sent me the nicest and most encouraging email in the whole entire universe. So...lucky you....I'm still here. Jillian had the brilliant and kind foresight to start and keep a sweet blog of letters to her daughter to read in the future.
Enjoy!
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Hi! I’m Jillian and this is my daughter, Emmerson Grace
Isn’t she a cutie?
She is the light of my life, my Emme girl, and I use my blog, Dear Emme, to leave her little love letters so that one day she might read how we’ve grown to be – Emme and me.
I met Grace through the wonderful world of blogs and it was perfect timing. I too have an amazing hubby who works longs hours, and as a young Catholic mother in a new and unfamiliar city, I gravitated towards her candidness about what so many of us call normal, everyday life as a stay-at-home momma. Her humor is refreshing and I compliment the way in which she leads her life. When it’s been a long day of baby-toting and cheerio picking-upping, I look forward to sitting down to read her posts and getting an ever-so-reassuring reminder that I’m not the only one out there attempting this wonderful, crazy life of a being a momma!
So when Grace asked me to do a guest post, I was honored, and contemplated her question about what most surprised me about becoming a mother.
I have found that becoming a mother has brought about a love in me I never could have imagined. I should preface with the fact that I have always dreamed of becoming a mother. I have always dreamed of waking up to little momma’s being thrown into the early morning, beckoning me to come and scoop that tiny voice up in my arms and say “Goodmorning love, you are mine!” So it was no surprise that I loved this child that had grown inside of me for the better three quarters of a year. I knew that would happen. But the severity of this love, the intensity of this love, the easiness of this love – that is a surprise I wake to day after day. It’s the kind of love that Grace so beautifully describes…the kind of love that stops to take a picture of the baby covered in oil before actually deciding what to do about the oil spill. The kind of love that contemplates for a mere second “Should I let her continue to eat the dog food…yes, she is happy”. The kind of love that sits that plump baby bottom right in the bathroom sink so she can be as near to you as she wants to be. Because what this love is teaching me in my short 8 months of being a momma, is that it’s not about the oil spill. It’s not about the “proper” thing to do, about following what the best sellers, your neighbors, or even your mother-in-law tells you to do. It’s about doing what’s best for your child. For your family. It’s about following the will of God to serve Him through this child by putting yourself last. And although sometimes you would love just ten minutes of silence, at the end of the day it’s really not caring for a second that you’re last. Not even one little bit.
And so to Grace and her beautiful family, I thank you for being brave enough to talk about that love. How it might not always appear to be perfect, or feel perfect, but at the end of the day when you fall into bed and your arms ache for the little one you’ve been carting around all day, you whisper “I miss you already”. And you know it was so, so meant to be.
Whether you are a momma to one, to many, or waiting to become one, I wish for you that every day you can revel in those moments that have every potential to break you down. The “I drove all the way to the market with a screaming baby and forgot my wallet.” The “I entered Trader Joes with a Target cart and want to shrink of embarrassment.” The “If you throw your sippie cup across the pew one more time I will get up and walk out.” I pray daily that I can remember that those moments are THE moments. Those moments are making me, forming me, building me into the momma I’ve always wanted to be.
And to Baby Sebastian ... get ready, you have one wonderful momma and we cannot wait to hear all about YOUR funny stories!
XOXO
Jillian
I met Grace through the wonderful world of blogs and it was perfect timing. I too have an amazing hubby who works longs hours, and as a young Catholic mother in a new and unfamiliar city, I gravitated towards her candidness about what so many of us call normal, everyday life as a stay-at-home momma. Her humor is refreshing and I compliment the way in which she leads her life. When it’s been a long day of baby-toting and cheerio picking-upping, I look forward to sitting down to read her posts and getting an ever-so-reassuring reminder that I’m not the only one out there attempting this wonderful, crazy life of a being a momma!
So when Grace asked me to do a guest post, I was honored, and contemplated her question about what most surprised me about becoming a mother.
I have found that becoming a mother has brought about a love in me I never could have imagined. I should preface with the fact that I have always dreamed of becoming a mother. I have always dreamed of waking up to little momma’s being thrown into the early morning, beckoning me to come and scoop that tiny voice up in my arms and say “Goodmorning love, you are mine!” So it was no surprise that I loved this child that had grown inside of me for the better three quarters of a year. I knew that would happen. But the severity of this love, the intensity of this love, the easiness of this love – that is a surprise I wake to day after day. It’s the kind of love that Grace so beautifully describes…the kind of love that stops to take a picture of the baby covered in oil before actually deciding what to do about the oil spill. The kind of love that contemplates for a mere second “Should I let her continue to eat the dog food…yes, she is happy”. The kind of love that sits that plump baby bottom right in the bathroom sink so she can be as near to you as she wants to be. Because what this love is teaching me in my short 8 months of being a momma, is that it’s not about the oil spill. It’s not about the “proper” thing to do, about following what the best sellers, your neighbors, or even your mother-in-law tells you to do. It’s about doing what’s best for your child. For your family. It’s about following the will of God to serve Him through this child by putting yourself last. And although sometimes you would love just ten minutes of silence, at the end of the day it’s really not caring for a second that you’re last. Not even one little bit.
And so to Grace and her beautiful family, I thank you for being brave enough to talk about that love. How it might not always appear to be perfect, or feel perfect, but at the end of the day when you fall into bed and your arms ache for the little one you’ve been carting around all day, you whisper “I miss you already”. And you know it was so, so meant to be.
Whether you are a momma to one, to many, or waiting to become one, I wish for you that every day you can revel in those moments that have every potential to break you down. The “I drove all the way to the market with a screaming baby and forgot my wallet.” The “I entered Trader Joes with a Target cart and want to shrink of embarrassment.” The “If you throw your sippie cup across the pew one more time I will get up and walk out.” I pray daily that I can remember that those moments are THE moments. Those moments are making me, forming me, building me into the momma I’ve always wanted to be.
And to Baby Sebastian ... get ready, you have one wonderful momma and we cannot wait to hear all about YOUR funny stories!
XOXO
Jillian
~~~
Thank you thank you thank you Jillian!
She went above and beyond the Camp's call of duty and sent not one but TWO posts...the second of which you'll have to patiently await...so sorry.
Happy Saturdee.
this is such a beautiful post! Honest, sincere and exactly something I needed to read today. Now I need to go find Jillian's blog and follow along!
ReplyDeleteSo, so beautiful! I can definitely relate!
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweetheart, she seems like such a beautiful person inside and out! Love the matching outfits, so darling too!
ReplyDelete