Lots of highs.
Lots of lows.
Around these parts, postpartum life involves rejoicing over the mighty victories of a made bed, my cup of coffee inhaled by me and me alone, a 4 minute shower, mom dressed (in her nicer sweats) and minimal crying (adult, toddler and infant). Bonus points are awarded for makeup applications (priorities), toddler and baby dressed in new (for the day) clothing, laundry done, and any ventures outside the house (never have I ever and it's not looking promising for the next yearish).
Yesterday morning was a big fat loooooooong find-me-a-shovel-so-I-can-dig-a-hole-so-we-can-go-lower low. The bed most certainly was not made, Julia drank and spilled my coffee, the shower was only 45 seconds long, mom rocked her ugliest stained sweats and everyone cried...a lot. And bonus points shmonus points. None here.
To adequately salt my failure wounds, Simon's exit time from work kept getting pushed back and I was very much looking forward to the mandatory work dinner he had to attend (spouses not included) that night. Julia kept trying to climb into her doll stroller and simply couldn't accept the simple physics of the fact that her large bottom would not be fitting in the small stroller. She also pitched a fit when she couldn't take my nail polish off ("Little Brown Dress"...Simon calls it "Black Coffee" because he claims it is actually black) my nails to play with...like she enjoys doing with my glasses, earrings and eyebrow hair. Julia soaked through three pairs of pants and learned how to flush the toilet-unrelated facts but both equally annoying. I've been hit by the ugliest fatigue train that even my toughest pregnant days never saw which makes everything a little bit worse than it seems. Sebastian has decided that he requires that he be spooning his bare food source while sleeping which is a horrible development. We'll have to nip that habit immediately. Horrible pun-please forgive me.
And don't think that I didn't let Simon know about each and e-v-e-r-y little tyrant nightmare that went down. Martyrdom could wait ... I wanted empathy, sympathy and solidarity right then and there.
This is where I should say that things turned around yadda yadda and the day was saved. Of course Simon eventually came home and the day was eventually fine after I got to nap (with Sebastian at his high maintenance sleeping post) and Simon took Julia on a long walk and on a nice errand run-but let's not dwell on the positive. All horrible, bad, awful for me!
Today might be better...or it might be worse (pretty please no no no no no no no no) but there are nice moments to get me through. I won't litter the post with fragrant cheese but I will say that Julia's seeming indifference to Sebastian has taken a turn for the tolerance meets curious stares. Sebastian's pretend smiles are more frequent and when he is awake, alert and not crying he is kind of cute. Simon is the most patient man on the planet and is probably vastly outnumbering the times I change a diaper 3:1 these days. He doesn't cringe when he comes home from work and I'm still wearing the same sweater, nursing tank (hate) and maternity yogas I was wearing yesterday, the day before yesterday and the day before the day before yesterday. . .I know I would.
Postpartum living is rough.
It's okay.
(I'm tempted to type a little rhyme like...
tomorrow is a brand new day
or
you'll live to see another day
or
something equally awful
but I won't
you're welcome)
hadios.
I know that's what I have to look forward to in six months but in the mean time I'm going to pretend that my son will miracously start sleep through the night and taking four hr naps when this new baby is born and it will be a girl and perfect as well and I'll always look fabulous! :) a girl can dream....
ReplyDeletehang in there:)! It gets easier I promise. you are doing a great job mama~!
ReplyDeleteAww, mama, hang tight! Look at those pics--the sweet ones, not the ones where it looks like J is trying to shove Seabass off the chair.
ReplyDeleteAnd you look gorgeous in red, makeup or no!
Oooof...you have it even tougher than I ever did with 2 so close together. Leo and Elena are 20 months apart and I don't remember it being that tough?? Maybe I'm deluding myself so I don't remember it since #3 is coming oh-so-soon. However, I would like you tell you what is behind Door #3. Right now, I am laying down in my bed in all my pregnant glory. I am watching Warehouse 13 on Netflix while my children are downstairs somewhere between the basement and main floor watching Fireman Sam and hopefully not killing each other. Right now, I don't hear anything ;) Occasionally, they come up to my room to tell me something silly, but for the most part, I am completely untouched and un-annoyed. This, my dear, is your future. It will come faster than you think (on account of never getting sleep, the days run together and a year feels like it was only a day). You Can Do It!!!!
ReplyDeleteAh, what a day! Amazing how exhaustion can make the simplest moments the worst. A couple evenings ago I had made spinach salad for us, complete with boiled eggs, bacon, and homemade pepper dressing. Just before I called my husband to dish it up I shook the dressing and it truly exploded. Down my front, all over the salad makings, the cupboard, the floor. And I just stood there shaking after a not-suppressed swear word. Bless M.'s heart, he cleaned me up and coaxed me into a chair where (eventually) I saw the funny side and joined his laughter.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, best of luck with it all. Your children are truly beautiful, as are you, maternity yoga pants and all!
I wish I lived closer. Reading this made my fingers itch to clean your bathroom and make you dinner. Darn the distance!
ReplyDeletebeing a mama is so impressive to me, you are heroes..seriously!
ReplyDeletefashionableroad.blogspot.com
Oh golly. This sounds like a page out of my diary, hahaha! Soooo not funny for you, I know. Just keep hanging on one day at a time and it will get better. And one day they will play together and plot together and entertain each other for better and worse.
ReplyDeletePost partum living is indeed rough (understatement of the year), and yet, for some sick reason, when I see all of these pictures that you posted, it makes me SO So So excited to be there again, and just going through it all. Even though I know how awfully hard those first few weeks/months can be. We are wired weirdly, eh? Motherhood is such a wonderful, strange, crazy, priceless thing.
You are a wonderful Mommy Grace! Keep on keepin' on!
bummer...i think all moms have been there. be easy on yourself, there's nothing wrong with chillaxing in your PJs all day (at least that's what i told myself during the postpartum phase). i can't function without sleep and lots of it. luckily evangeline started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks because i get exhausted with trying to keep up with all three during the day.
ReplyDeleteGrace, you just took me directly back to those days and I started to feel nauseous thinking about it, and I did not have a husband doing a residency! Does Julia like videos? That was always and still is my last resort (by 9a.m. during those early days). I gave up caring that I was probably frying her brain, sanity is priority one. I will be praying for you!!!
ReplyDeleteI take it back, I probably put a video first thing in the morning every morning for a long time until I could handle the beginning of the day, just thought I would clear that up.
ReplyDeleteI think that would literally be the hardest thing about having a second baby. I do not do well with no sleep, and but whadya do. I hope you get some sleep soon!
ReplyDeleteGod, postpartum living IS freaking rough. The second one worlds worse than the first or third. It can't last forever, okay? I promise. Really. That it, unfortunately, the only hope I can give you besides...well, go buy yourself a bottle of wine and drink it. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteAhem. That last comment was from me and not Sasha Feroce. Sorry. Hazards of computer sharing.
ReplyDeleteAh! I remember...I remember...I remember! The crazy part about it all is how fast you forget. In reading this post I was suddenly taken back nine months ago when I cried way too many times (in one morning) to be considered sane, to how many times I tried to make allllll the right decisions as a perfect mother of two...(right), how I worried up and down about everything. I mean everything. How I called my husband almost every hour on the dot because drama has always been a strong suit of mine... It was awful for a small window of time.
ReplyDeleteBut then...just like it was with the first, the veil is lifted a bit after three months (for me). A new normalcy forms. It becomes great. Really. My two are just at the age where I hear giggles from them all day long. What a gift to have siblings! It sounds so trite, I know, but seriously...it just takes time. It's hard to see in the fog of baby spit up and three hours of sleep, but soon, it will become better than you could ever know.
Oh...and I completely agree with Ana. Videos all the way. Signing time and Baby Einstein worked for us. For me...I meant me.
Praying for your fam. I feel like I should add a story but as a mother of none I really have no experience to draw from haha. Wishing you all the best for the next few weeks, days, hours :)
ReplyDeletedude. going from one to two was ROUGH for me. and they were over 2.5 years apart. Everyone kept telling me to give it 6 months (!!!) for me to get into a groove. I thought that sounded soooo stupid...6 months is a long time. Then, one day, I was at the zoo with both kiddos, by myself, and no one, not even me, was crying. We were actually having a good time. And I thought, "huh, the last week or so things have really improved. All those jerks who said it would take 6 months for me to get the hang of the two kid thing were so wrong. I got this." Then I realized....Dominic would be 6 months old the next day. So. It's going to take a little bit of time :) Gianna watched a lot a lot of Signing Time and I am one of those obnoxious no-TV moms but...you gotta do what you gotta do. Desperate times and all that.
ReplyDeleteoh lady. i still want to visit! i'll change diapers i promise! and do i have to be pregnant to get locks that long? i'm seriously like pulling on my hair to get it longer and longer still..
ReplyDeleteOh, I remember this like it was yesterday! Emme and I LIVED on the big couch and I seriously felt nauseous every time we had to drive anywhere! Ha! It started to turn around for me when she found her thumb at 4 months, then the screaming was less and therefore I could venture out into the real world without as much anxiety! I'll pray that these days are as few as possible for you...and you sure look much cuter than I did during post-partum living...even doing your hair! ;)
ReplyDeleteI feel for you mama! What a champ, Your earning jewels in your crown for Heaven:) quick question how far apart are the kiddies?
ReplyDeleteyou're sweet!! 13 and 14 months.
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