Camp Patton: Simon Says (Travel Edition)

28 November 2011

the only photos I captured from our Thanksgiving vaca
good thing Julia looks so pretty in the top photo

After driving (hello hell) and arriving to our Thanksgiving destination circa 3 in the a.m. and Julia not skipping a beat with her usual early grunt-grunt-come-get-me-or-I'll-grunt-your-ears-off cock-a-doodle-annoying the following (well...the same) morning, Simon asked,

"Did I drink 30 beers last night?"

On the return trip (hello hell again) after changing Julia's outfit for the third (of four) time due to diaper failure/diluted juice overdose, Simon admitted,

"I saw an advertisement in the bathroom stall for a $79 portable DVD player ... I was very tempted."

During one of Julia's interminable screamscreamscream tantrums on the drive back home, Simon whispered,
"I mean I feel sorry for her ... but I feel more sorry for us."

and then there was a 30 minute episode about six hours into our trip involving the filthiest Toys "R" Us (we were double dipping - bathroom and bottle nipple purchase stop) in America, Julia's pajamas winding up in the trashcan due to a diaper failure of a more serious variety, Simon's jacket being covered in diaper failure remnants and Simon force-escorting me into the disgusting men's restroom to see/smell the remnants of the diaper failure. The episode was chock-full of great Simon quotes but I was too busy cry-laugh-crying to remember them exactly.
Sorry.

10 comments:

UnknownNovember 28, 2011 at 8:16 PM
We managed to avoid the Thanksgiving travel hell, but we're paying for it- plus interest- this weekend. Think: 16 hour drive with five children under the age of 10, and a 18 week pregnant woman who will be curled in the back of the van, praying for death, wracked with car sickness.

We'll visit for almost exactly 48 hours (including sleeping time), then pack back into the van for another 16 hour hike.

But think of all the blog fodder I'll have if I survive.
meg lueckNovember 28, 2011 at 8:58 PM
haha, hilarious!
Jdel:November 28, 2011 at 9:04 PM
hahah simon spewed some greats on this trip. and that first photo of julia is hilarious
StephNovember 28, 2011 at 9:44 PM
GET THE DVD PLAYER.... life/trip saver. serio. We got ours 4 hours into our trip to Iowa this summer... $59 at target. GO!
Faulkner's RanchNovember 28, 2011 at 10:10 PM
Simon Says days are some of my favs! My favorite was ""I mean I feel sorry for her ... but I feel more sorry for us." Too funny!

Wish we could have seen you guys! Let's do FaceTime soon!
MarjorieNovember 28, 2011 at 10:25 PM
oh my gosh! i do feel sorry for you. christopher is extremely annoying on long car rides, but i won't give in and get the DVD player. it goes against my parenting philosophy so i'm sticking to my guns. i have seen improvement though from last year.
ann.November 29, 2011 at 8:52 AM
i feel more sorry for you than J. the 30 beers question/comment.........hilarious.
SarahNovember 29, 2011 at 11:11 AM
Oh goodness gracious. Thank you for pulling me back from the brink and slapping some sense into me with this blog post. Was thisclose to considering bringing Piper to Dallas for the race this weekend. Ten+ hours in the car with the possibility of diaper changes in dirty bathrooms and blowouts galore? Nevermind.
JDNovember 29, 2011 at 12:17 PM
um... speechless over here.

(make sure they give you full credit when the movie comes out... I'm sure the new "young family holiday road trip" comedy will have this very scene in it)
JillianNovember 29, 2011 at 4:13 PM
hahah so funny and SO true! surprising how often parenting leads me to pour a drink or feel as if i've just poured one!!