Congratulations to my good compadre Roxy on the birth of her second little babe Penelope!
She kindly wrote this little ditty pre-bebe.
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When I was preggo with H, I had all the typical fears of a first time mom. What is labor going to feel like? Am I going to be able to overcome my pee-in-my-pants fear of needles to endure all the blood drawing/epidural business? Will I shadoobie while pushing??? I found no comfort in the ubiquitous responses of, "Oh you'll forget about all the pain the moment you lay eyes on that baby," from friends, family and complete strangers at Costco who felt compelled to contribute their 2 pennies. As my due date quickly approached I see-sawed between thoughts of not being ready to face the unknown territory of giving birth and wanting this baby out NOW or my hips will disintegrate. I was basically a hormonal hot mess.
Even though almost two years have passed and I've added a few notches to my extra extra EXTRA large mommy belt, this pregnancy hasn't been all that different except that the fears involving pain and bodily functions have been replaced with worries about the inevitable changes that will come with the arrival of our second. H has been the sun to our Milky Way for so long...how are we going to adjust? When I look at this precious face with his perfectly imperfect chip-toothed smile (reference attached pic) my heart fills with so much love it physically hurts. I find myself pitying the little one growing inside me because I sometimes doubt if I'll be able to love him/her the same way I do H. On the other hand, I also feel bad for the soon-to-be big brother. Now that I have two places to pour my love into, will H recieve less? I know these are silly thoughts and I know love only grows with each addition to the family but there are just some things in life that you cannot fully understand until you experience it yourself.
Even though almost two years have passed and I've added a few notches to my extra extra EXTRA large mommy belt, this pregnancy hasn't been all that different except that the fears involving pain and bodily functions have been replaced with worries about the inevitable changes that will come with the arrival of our second. H has been the sun to our Milky Way for so long...how are we going to adjust? When I look at this precious face with his perfectly imperfect chip-toothed smile (reference attached pic) my heart fills with so much love it physically hurts. I find myself pitying the little one growing inside me because I sometimes doubt if I'll be able to love him/her the same way I do H. On the other hand, I also feel bad for the soon-to-be big brother. Now that I have two places to pour my love into, will H recieve less? I know these are silly thoughts and I know love only grows with each addition to the family but there are just some things in life that you cannot fully understand until you experience it yourself.
All I can do is wait for our little Baby Bean to make his/her debut into this world and pray that God grants our growing family a smooth transition. I ask that he continues to guide Matt and I to be the kind of parents he wants us to be, to guide us to show our children how to love. And finally, I have my trusty bottle of castor oil in the fridge to make sure nothing extra comes out while pushing. It worked wonders the first time.
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Happy Sunday
Thank you for always blogging about motherhood! And getting guest posts about it! I'm due to have my first in 12 days and I have had every feeling and emotion possible, so I love hearing other mamas talk about their experiences...naturally. :)
ReplyDeleteLove it! I can't think of a bigger transition than moving from the parents of one child to the parents of two. At what other time (barring multiples, of course), do you DOUBLE THE AMOUNT OF CHILDREN TO CARE FOR in one fell swoop? It's overwhelming.
ReplyDeleteAnd you have to stop posting all these pictures of gorgeous pregnant ladies. You're setting the bar too high for us old schlubs reading your blog.