notsofast

 I had been pleased that yesterday was the first day spent with the two nonverbals that I didn't send Simon multiple smoke signal texts demanding that he leave any crowning baby heads behind and speed race home to my sanity zapped rescue.  I mean ... the diapers were still gross and abundant and the babes were still needsucks but we seemed to finally almost hit some sort of stride that made me think I might not lose all my marbles after all (!!). I don't know what the magical equation was exactly. I did get sort of dressed. I got crazy and donned my festive pants but kept things tame and predictable keeping my housecoat and housesocks securely on my person.  Julia branched out from her usual diet of solely processed meat (haw daws and chickie nugs -- when we started calling them that and that I know not but my mortified former self is rolling in my future self's grave). Also, some very kind souls loaned us a genius baby swing that sways side to side instead of the boooooring front to back and keeps Sebastian weirdly content for scarily amazing amounts of time.  And I ordered one (my first) Christmas gift online ... look out.

blahblahblah
positive
blah

Then today happened.

 Unbelievable blowouts (I am tempted to go into gross detail about these but I know that would guarantee that you would never return ... so you're spared for now) requiring back to back baths, a sudden and very scary diaper extinction, tantrums galore and (my fave) Simon getting unexpectedly called and required to go to a loooooooooooooooong work dinner directly after work leaving me sans my very cherished time with a fellow talker that I have grown so dependent on night after night (don't worry - my anonymous hate letter to the dinner that I wrote before I washed my filthy hands from the blowouts - oops - is locked and loaded in the fax machine headed straight to all responsible parties).

so
one decent
+
one unpleasant
=
back to where we started:
very low daily expectations and back to taking things one day/hour/minute/diaper at a time
which is fine
didn't mean for this to rhyme
dime
pine
sign
can't stop
won't stop
line

end whine, now wine.

forgive me (and mine).



oh, will you see this?
I will. Totally.