Simon Says

While teaching Julia to identify parts of her body (toes, fingers, nose etc) Simon said, 

"And where is your body odor?"

(which she can now point out as her underarms ... thank you Simone)

While trying to get a quick minute of peace and quiet by sending Julia on an errand, Simon said, 

"Julia, can you go find Antarctica?"

After finding the family restroom locked and occupied by a single gentleman when both kids desperately needed diaper changes Simon said,  "I hate when single people camp out and stink up family restrooms!**"

After discussing whether or not we would watch The Bachelor in real time on the hotel room cable Simon said, "You go ahead ... I'll just be reading my edifying book while sitting on my high horse."

When referring to the rose ceremony on The Bachelor Simon said,
"flower party."

**paraphrased and censored