Julia finally learned one single manner. She has learned that saying, "pwease!" (more of a command than a question) is the fastest vehicle to getting whatever she wants right away. So, of course, when she saw the small and enticing jar of garlic make an appearance during dinner prep the other night ...
she immediately started firing off her super! urgent! machine! gun! pweases!
And, being the caring mother that I am, instead of going the slow and kind route, "no, this is gross ... how about more chocolate chips in your measuring cup?" ... I went the fast and lazy route and figured giving her a spoonful of the potent would quiet the sirens ...
... thinking I was soooooo smart ...
... but shock of all voms ...
she loved .. and reloaded her gun with never not annoying pwease ammo ...
and then repeated the whole charade with the entirety of one chopped and raw onion.
So, now we're down one whole small jar of garlic and one whole onion and up a large surplus of toddler death-breath and motherly indulgence.
Never not a three ring circus of wild around here.
Never ever.
she immediately started firing off her super! urgent! machine! gun! pweases!
And, being the caring mother that I am, instead of going the slow and kind route, "no, this is gross ... how about more chocolate chips in your measuring cup?" ... I went the fast and lazy route and figured giving her a spoonful of the potent would quiet the sirens ...
and then repeated the whole charade with the entirety of one chopped and raw onion.
So, now we're down one whole small jar of garlic and one whole onion and up a large surplus of toddler death-breath and motherly indulgence.
Never not a three ring circus of wild around here.
Never ever.
Toddler death breathe..hahaha I know all about the machine gun word usage. Little girl now takes a word and hammers it into the ground somewhere around 800 times in a row. I'm not sure if I have any hair left to pull out.
ReplyDeleteToday, at the store, I made the uber-horrible mistake of mentioning the word "grandma", and little lady decided she'd scream out "Grandma!" over and over and over again...because she was sure she was hiding somewhere around free-standing display of baked beans...oy.
Oh Julia...how...gross, lol!
ReplyDeleteIn other news: LOVE the second picture and can I have that frilly shirt in adult size?
Ughh! Excuse me while I vomit. But good for you for letting her try it, see for 99% of the child population that would've ended quickly but she's obviously light years above the rest in her culinary palate. She'll probably be like the next, umm, Julia Child or something like that.
ReplyDeleteLoving the double negatives in this post! Great, funny. Who'd have thought she'd LIKE garlic?
ReplyDeleteHa! That reminds me of giving a lemon or pickle to a baby for the first time. It's so awesome that you were able to capture her reaction!
ReplyDeleteSounds like my baby sister, who not only ate raw garlic and onions but also would sneak my mom's pickles, eat ONLY the crust on bread, and devour uncooked hot dogs. And then try to lie about eating uncooked hot dogs; however, like Shakira's hips, that breathe don't lie.
ReplyDeletei HATE the abrev "lol" because it has totally taken the potency out of telling someone you're laughing out loud.
ReplyDeletewith that said, LOL. (i really was. out loud.)
I love garlic, but by the spoonful, ewww. My son did like eating garlic gelcaps like candy when he was about two. I figured it wasn't too bad for him. The rest of us had to put up with his total body garlic aroma, though.
ReplyDeleteew ew EWWWWW. But further proof that she and Joey are cut from the same cloth.
ReplyDeleteThis is that moment when I couldn't be more grateful to be so far away from your lovely family. I can't even fathom how toxic her breath was!
ReplyDeleteI would say "ew" but that would be hypocritical. I've spent the past month eating bread dipped into a mixture of olive oil, mucho minced garlic, Italian seasonings, salt and red pepper flakes every chance I get. No wonder my husband "neeeds to stay at school and work late again" all the bleeping time. Thanks for helping me pinpoint my repulsive eating habits.
ReplyDeleteShe's SO awesome.
ReplyDeleteI meant to add (!!!) after I wrote that...
DeleteTruly, she is :)
Raw garlic and onion are are sooooooo good for you, too! Oh my gosh. She's going to have the immune system of a god(dess). And she's already got the cuteness of one. You're in trouble, Grace...
ReplyDeleteHoly Cow! I have to hide onions in whatever I make to try and trick the kids into eating it. I love that she just devoured them all. We tried to quiet our kids by giving them sips of beer or wine thinking they wouldn't like it - and yup we were wrong! I think she's going to be leaving you some great presents in her diaper today.
ReplyDeleteshes so precious!
ReplyDeleteaaah! Of course she loved it! Nasty!
ReplyDeletePsst! There's a 10 lb bebe in this house. ;)
Oh God. I've fallen into this trap I set for my toddler, too. With olives (he loves them) and with garlic. One of our fall-back dinners when he refuses everything else is garlic bread. He always wants "mow-ah garlic". AND THEN HE EATS IT.
ReplyDeleteIt's disconcerting when angelic toddler faces are wreathed in the smell of garlic seeping from their pores.