After he had spent a busy night on Labor and Delivery and I had spent a busy night at home warding off potential intruders/murderers we were hashing out the day's strategic plan for sleeping/simultaneously watching the need mongers and Simon said, "well, I'll take the first shift when the kids wake up -- which will hopefully be never."
While reading to Julia as she flipped furiously through the pages of her books Simon says, "blah blah blah ... more things ... blah ... the end."
After coming home to a less than pleasant wife one evening Simon said, "I'm going to look into getting Julia a cell phone just so that I can text her so that she can assess and report back on the exact state of your mood."
After walking through H&M for 2.4 minutes Simon said, "I have to be perfectly honest in saying that I absolutely cannot tell the difference between the men's and women's apparel."
After I absentmindedly asked Julia if her favorite color was pink Simon interjected (with an air of disgust), "Julia, don't become a cliché."
That H&M comment is SOLID GOLD.
ReplyDeleteI was less blessed by his thoughts on the color pink. ;)
I LOVED the last one. What is your reaction to these things? Does it catch you off guard or do you just bust up laughing?
ReplyDeleteThis has to be one of my fave installments EVER. Oh my gosh. Laughed out loud at every single one. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteYa know, you and your husband really don't seem to enjoy having kids.
ReplyDeleteFor the record, Grace and Simon's dislikes:
Delete1. kids
2. cold weather
3. anonymous comments
Best.retort.ever.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI hate when I'm logged in with the defunct account. dang it!
DeleteAnyway, I love you, Grace. That is all.
Haha! My hubs does the same nighttime reading shenannagins. And he also has quite a bit of fun reading those terrible Dora books by pronouncing all spanish words as if they were English, it's a real treat...
ReplyDeleteTouche, H&M. Touche.
ReplyDelete. . . and don't be hatin', anonymous.
Hahaha, I think my favorite one is the cell phone request.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I'm a grouch Ben just starts talking to Trudy.
Well played Grace, well played.
ReplyDeleteWhen my sister and I became teenagers and were able to report to our dad the state of our mother's craziness at the moment he said cell phones were God's gift to men everywhere.
ReplyDeletehahahah! my faves - the H&M comment because it's so true. and the last one.
ReplyDeleteAs to the person who thinks you and Simon 'don't love having kids': EYE ROLL. The rest of the world gets Grace' sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteI need to let Mike in on that reading technique. He is so anal about reading every word on every page in order. Ellen just wants to open and close the book and point to every animal and call it a kitty.
ReplyDeleteAnd, totally off topic: You know that post you did linking up all of the recipes? And you know that post you did where you turned your blog into an online thrift store a la Grace's closet? Those were pretty cool, huh? Farley jk.
Anyway, those two posts need to get married and have a baby. Then all of us bloggers can hawk our stuff via your blog/thrift store.
Oh Grace and Simon. I want to be friends in real life and not just online. I feel the same way about H&M too. Bewildered. Also, I'm sending Simon's comment about pink to all of Piper's aunts, who will cheer loudly.
ReplyDelete"Julia, don't become a cliche" should be framed on her wall. Also, your response to Anon above is amazing. That made me laugh harder than anything I've seen all week. Also, the Ogre IS going to be gone for all of July and half of August so...wanna vacation? We could be miserable together.
ReplyDeletei love the cliche comment, so funny!!!
ReplyDeleteLove all Simon Says...However you win for Grace Says to Anon!
ReplyDeleteI think the "Simon Says" posts are my favorite. There are times when I go through and read all of them over and over just to get a laugh. Priceless.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to punch anonymity in the nuts.
ReplyDelete