Simon Says

"Please make sure I'm not in the picture at all."


After dinner one night Simon said, "Julia is plucking and licking Reeses wrappers directly from the trash which I know is probably a habit she inherited from you so I'm going to let you deal with that."

After observing both kids digging through the overturned kitchen trashcan Simon walked by and paused briefly to say, "you two are both disgusting" before he kept on walking. 

While enjoying a little family outing for some frozen yogurt and listening to the kids whine grunt for lick after immediate lick of our froyo, Simon said, "we're surrounded by barking seals."

While I was taking a little too long to finish and publish a post Simon said, "I think you would have an alarmingly difficult time choosing between me and an unsaved blog post in the event of a life threatening fire."

After I woke him up to tell him that I had really bad insomnia Simon said, "and how much longer do you think it's going to last?"

After he offered to take Sebastian to a work dinner but then observed as he whine-whine-whined and claw-claw-clawed at my legs while I tried to make dinner for lowly me and Julia, Simon (seriously) said, "I mean, would it really be helpful to you if I took him?"

After a successful week of finally letting Sebastian truly cry it out Simon aptly renamed sleep training, "put your damn foot down."