Julia Says

"munnin"


Because Simon is golfing, Sebastian is sleeping, Julia is busy with a teeth brushing marathon, and this mom don't wanna miss a thing ...

potato - "tut-tato"
tomato - "tut-tato"
tortilla - "tut-teeya"
Sebastian (with affection) - "bashy-cakes"
Sebastian (with malice) - "no, bashy, no!!"
Dad (with affection) - "daddy"
Dad (with malice) - "Si-mun!!"
Mom (with affection) - "mommy"
Mom (with malice) - "no!"
no - "no"
yes - "no"
I don't know - "no"
go away - "no"
hospital - "daddy house"
hospital - "fwench fwies"
Nana - "banana"
Grandma - "campa"
Grandpa - "campa"
box - "pwesent"
necklace - "neckwace"
bracelet - "neckwace"
train - "train"
truck - "train"
car - "train"
there is soap all over the bathroom - "washed hands"
Sebastian is playing in the toilet - "bashy trubo"
I'm climbing the stairs - "care-fo"
Sebastian is climbing the stairs - "don't faw!!"
I don't like this food - "bashy want it"
I need my clothes off - "open it"
Get this band-aid off my shirt - "open it"
I don't want to go to bed - "I sceeered"
I don't want to go to bed - "Band- aid?"
I don't want to go to bed - "snuggo?"
I'm awake - "goo mowning"
I'm awake - "coffee?"
I'm awake - "mommy?"
I'm awake - "daddy?"
lipstick - "mips"
Vaseline - "mips"
Vicks Vapor Run - "mips"
lotion - "notion"
shampoo - "notion"
ranch dressing - "notion"
peanut butter - "piddy budder"
I'm hungry - "piddy budder"
bra - "boobies"
underwear - "boobies"


If this list is at all indicative ... I'd go ahead and guess that Sigh-mun and myself get a big fat "A" for applaudable in our parenting class.

7 Quick Takes

Joining Jen over at Conversion Diary like I usually do.

1. I'm on day 3 of 21 of the almighty sugar detox ... and so far - so fine. Of course I'll provide obnoxious and detailed rundowns of the whole en-chee-la-duh as the weeks go by but I think my sugar-starved shakes are subsiding and a chocolateless existence is good for my mental accuity. I think.

2. We are 25% done with night float. Depressing.

3. Shorty figured out how to lace up his pointe shoes, stand on his tip toes, and open doors. Of course he is particularly interested in the door to the death stairs that does not lock.

This should end well.

4. Ashley gifted the internetters with two whole posts this week: A Short Story and An Open Letter to Food. Bless her hilarious heart.

5. Many congrats to Cynthia AND Jenna ... I la-la-la-loved both of their announcements.

6. Julia let me try to put her hair in voluminous nubs tonight ...

Someday it'll happen. Not today.

7. Did you enter the Daisy Rae giveaway? Go if no.

7.5 I didn't cry at our wedding or the births of the kids but this Justin Bieber story that I heard on the radio earlier this week totally had me in serious tears (and confused Julia to no end). Send help, I'm getting soft.  


Off you trot to see Jen and read about her adorable grandpa who gleans culinary inspiration from Pinterest like a boss.



Bye.

Crop Top Turned Maturnic

"Crop top" might be stretching it a bit but when I bought this $5 shirt at H&M several months ago it was nice and long and flowy and then one little wash and dry and BAM ... cropped and unflattering. I liked the drab color and the stretchy fabric though and didn't want to give up on Croppy just yet. So, with the help of my sewing machine, I attached a fat strip of similarly stretchy material the color of eggplant skin to make, what I believe the cool kittens would say is, a tunic.

Why everything is tilted to the left (stage right?) ... I know not. I think this was the morning after Simon's first night shift and I was riding the high of an all-nighter which is why you will never see the faces attached to the above bodies. Identical beauty queens. And you're welcome for the before and after labels. I thought you might find those enormously helpful.

I tried the whole tunic + leggings + pointless sweater that provides no elbow/forearm shelter look ...

I don't know.  I don't love it but it was comfortable when worn in all my natural habitats: the great outdoors (pictured), Costco, our abode, and the hospital cafeteria. We'll see how long the maturnic can hang over the bump before looking totally ridic on top of being lopsided (get it?).

I'll stop. 



Just another sewing post brought to you by Impressive & Impressiver.

Clicks like Jagger

Did I tell you we bought our first non-Craigslist couch? We did. From a store called "Weekends Only" ... so it is sure to be an heirloom that Julia's grandchildren will undoubtedly enjoy as much as she does.

Let me address the post title first. I HATE that song. I always have and I always will ... but I'm a firm believer in the old "... enemies closer" bologna ... so. Here's another better song for you. I dare you not to click and d-d-d-d-d-ance.

This is the most important link of them alllll ... sweet Heidi and her family were recently gifted a generous matching grant (by someone I went to college with!! itsy bitsy world) for their upcoming adoption. Help them along if you can!!

I think I'm finally going to paint my claws this perfectly cheery color today or tomorrow or the next day. Enough talk. I need to embrace my inner 2010 trend followa.

Meg convinced me to do this with her ... there is a pregnancy-friendly version and everything. The timing couldn't be more perfect because the snack size Halloween candy addiction has risen to a sinful level.

I'm not sure where I've been but I just discovered Kelly's stellar blog ... love it. 

Did you see Leanne's pretty new line of Maxi skirts? Gorgeous.

Kelsey is doing an awesome little Blog Tips series. Her first post is here and her second post is here.  Go forth and drink from her fountain of wisdom.

Hasta.



 

Some Nights (by Fun)

I hope you know that one of the core missions of this blog is to make any readers that have kids feel wildly inferior as parents. I'm well aware that I put on a pretty impressive show.

Just so we're all clear.

Last week I was in a spiraly funk. Antepartum depression? No. Just the subconscious dread and fear and dread and anxiety and dread that comes with the joyful two months of every year that Simon works nights. I know. I need to grow up. I thought maybe this would be the month that I would turn over a freshly fallen golden with the promise of faltumn leaf and maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I just needed to suck it up, take a Unisom, and sleep like a normal human being. That's all.

Then Sunday afternoon rolled around and Simon left for his first shift of the rotation. And here is where I am tempted to type "and shift hit the fan" -- but I won't. I won't do it.

Sebastian is currently a super sick little lamb with a super sick little nose. He woke up with a very impressive dried snot mustache AND beard the other morning. I couldn't stop staring while trying to chip away at the (angry!!! wipe his nose and risk death by scream and flail) patient and didn't understand why Simon wasn't more fascinated with the multiple photos I thoughtfully took of the cement mask before I finally chiseled it off in it's glorious entirety.

Casper and Egg Yolk making peace after a fight to the almost death over a nose wipe.

I took the evening into my own capable hands and took the kids to the store in order to:
a. rectify the egg and banana shortage our kitchen was suffering
b. kill time before I could put the kids to sleep
c. kill time before I could put the kids to sleep

We got 7.6 steps out the door before Sebastian

(who walks exactly like he just dismounted a horse after an 89 day ride)

nose dove right into the walkway and gave himself a top of the nose bleed. He let the obligatory silence of "will he or won't he scream?!" pass before he screeeeeeeeamed. Julia laughed because she is a jerk and ran straight into the street for the first time ever while I surveyed the injured and decided that nose wipe sessions were going to go from "Ordinary Time fun" to "Christmas morning fun". What's that I smelled? Fresh fortuity.

The ultra urgent grocery run was mostly uneventful until I got in line to pay and grabbed the hot dogs from Julia's hand to find that she had chewed through the package. One dog in a million slobbery bits covered in bite marked plastic? No problem.

Julia was in a chatty mood and named every single human she remembers ever coming in contact with for the unenthused cashier, "basher, mommy, daddy, nana, paul, mommy, daddy, dora, diego, boots, daddy, basher, Julia" which, to an untrained ear,  sounds an awful lot like, "aksajdsalksjd alksjdakljdsald alksjklajsiwejadksdj" (gibberish with a speech impediment).

We came home from the trip meant to bridge the time gap until bedtime and I pulled a smartymom and let the kids stay up until an atrocious hour ...

Moobs Jr. ignores toddler Einstein's desperate pleas, "neckwace OFFFF"

I thought guarding and protect my cowardly heart from intruders would result in good nights of sleep for the shorts but my plan backfired in every single way possible at 1am (Sebastian), 2am (Sebastian's altar ego "thrasher" and Julia), 3am (just Julia), 3:43am (Julia and her emergent need for a Band-Aid), and for the day at 5:10 in the am (cock-a-smile Sebastian).

Aaaaaaaaaand why oh why on God's greenest earth I ever let the idea of this month consume my entire being is completely beyond me because seriously? so far - so very good. 

Saturday Night Live

I really felt like I sort of had it together yesterday for the first time in a long time. I shoved my omnipresent lazy in the corner for the duration of the kids' naps and dusted off my semi-productive pants for a boring date. I made a few baby blankets (shoddily hemmed the sides of two pieces of fabric ... totaling 8 whole straight lines of loving toil), altered a shirt (sewing the "dry clean only" tag right on out of the floppy collar just before its first date with the washing machine today ... so now Julia has a super cute maternity shirt that should fit until she thinks about eating), made some cookies and only burned two of the five sheets (batches? whatev), and put two coats of mascara on one eye. 

We got ourselves, the hemmed fabric, and the salvaged cooks into the car and onto the road to Mass at 5:14 only 9 minutes past the "we have to leave by 5:05" deadline and slid into the back pew reserved "FOR USHERS ONLY" just as the Gospel was starting. I like to always leave a little room for improvement. We'll tackle promptness in November (September and October are booked for "complain less" and "actually try to complain less"). I noticed that Julia's diaper was due to burst any second so I took her to the bathroom (that had short sinks! the better to aid Julia in soaking her bowlcut while I selfishly emptied my 1/8 tsp of a bladder) and by the time we returned the homily was .... over. I'm going to blame the world's shortest homily and not my futile attempts to dry Julia's hair with paper towels made out of super thin slices of what could only be described as cement cardboard. Sebastian's nose has come down with prolific faucet syndrome and being the responsible parent that I am ... I came prepared with exactly one baby wipe to help a brother out allllll throughout Mass. Not gross.

We attended a friend's baptism following Mass where I suddenly realized Julia's dress was 8 sizes too large in the neck and was about as scandalous as a dress could be on a toddler ... revealing everything and nothing all at the same time. Sebastian laid a putrid egg that absolutely couldn't be ignored during the blessed event and Julia resoaked her hair with every holy water font that her little pawtips could reach.

Yes, as I was feeding the kids and myself (Simon has recently mastered the important utensil utilizing milestone, thankfully) a late dinner of burnt cookies and frozen pizza followed by a large smoothie (to cancel out the unhealthy and ease my sugar crashing conscience) and reflecting back (oh, you don't reflect? it's all the rage ... I highly recommend it ... along with being passionate about something and taking some sort of symbolic journey to nowhere) on the day's events and realized that my "together" is "not" and that I had probably expelled all the energy I had reserved for the remainder of September on one half of one day.

Sebastian resting his locks on a pillowy dishtowel while sucking down an Echinacea cough drop and Emergen-C dinner. Fooooooled him. Sneaky mom win - spirit fingers.

Are those pterodactyl (the p is silent ... who knew?) claws where her crows' feet used to perch? Yep.

I fell asleep on the couch while watching the big game with Simon and woke up determined to lower the bar and make today a little bit less stellar. And if the facts that we ate leftover frozen pizza for lunch, Sebastian smiled .01 times all day, I officially graduated to my larger yogajama pants, and Julia is currently jumping on her crib mattress and ask-demanding for her 99th drink of water at 11:27 pm tonight ... I'd say we totally succeeded.

Toe touch.

7 Quick Takes

Joining Jen and company once again.

1. Not complaining but simply informing you that it feels like someone has taken an ice pick to my throat and then thrown buckets of salt in the dramatized wounds due to a self-diagnosed seal cough. I'll live, obviously (but not before I tell the internet ALL about it!!!). I'm just happy to give Simon yet another feather for his saint wings after he endured last night's hours of coughing, medicating, and repeating.

2. I've been having really great luck finding "gently used" shoes for the offspring on eBay. Sebastian has an alarmingly wide foot and I found a pair of w i d e boots for 99 pennies and these for $4.99 that have been a lifesaver because he doesn't howl like an infant hyena after 4 minutes of circulation killing wear and we can take him out in public again without him looking barefoot and trash-ay.

See? Couch shopping in comfort.

(I believe this was taken shortly after I let Simon deal with the always fun "dirty diaper but nary a wipe in my invisible diaper bag to be found" situation c/o one eldest daughter)

3. I was a Pumpkin Spice diehard until I tried the Salted Caramel Mocha the other night and I don't think I can ever return to my former flame again. I've been salting my morning coffee to get a similar effect which is about a 95% fail but I just saw that the store now sells salted caramel mocha creamer. Can you hear my smile from there?

4. I was having a little four minute funk fiesta for myself this morning on the couch with the back of my hand meeting my forehead and all when I heard the kids being ............... quiet. I waited 3 seconds too long before going to find both of their dressers emptied and both pods of infant and adult Vicks Vapor Rub open and all over their stupid little faces. Sebastian had also moved onto the greener pasture of sucking down a tube of diaper rash cream. It's like they have no toys, no food, and no fun --- ever. They are both grounded indefinitely although that means absolutely nothing in their socially starved little lives.

5. Caroline added more things to her awesomely affordable blogshop -- check it here.

6. Many thanks to fellow resident wife Janel for her sweet birthday post for little J yesterday!

7. I'm with Cari in hating the new Blogger interface. Hate. Blogspot better listen.

7.6 Am I the only Silverstone that has no clue what "oxblood" is/means/does? Probably. 


Smile,

Bye.

TWO!!

Julia is turning two big years old today ...

    and in true Grace fashion, I really went all out ...

1.5ish layers for 2 years ... whatever. Leave me alone.

But you know I couldn't let the day go by without a little one of these ...

(no one is even kind of expected to view except for the grands and great grands ... )
 
And don't worry, I've enrolled myself in slideshow making cessation classes. Let's hope they are effective because Sebastian's first birthday is just around the corn.

Julia's birth story
and her first birthday 
and her half birt 


(click here if the clip above is dumb and malfunctiony)

everybody click now

Simon had this past weekend off and made great use of his time.


Just a little semi-friendly PSA to pretty pretty pretty pretty please turn off your blog's crazy word verification and to prettier please link your email address to your name in the combox. I promise everyone's quality of life will improve immediately.

Ashley's dropped another diamond on us ... a little peek into her personal life. I can't get enough.

This song is a saddy but the kids and I can't stop playing and replaying and playing again.

Congratulations to Preethi and her fam on the arrival of her little lady! She is the prettiest baby with the prettiest name.

Just a day left to enter the Blowfish Shoes giveaway .... do it up.

Simon's got some fierce competition ...

Mary just started a superb new blog and she's got impeccable style for days.

We're celebrating Simon being finished with a big, fat, time consuming, and slightly stressful work project today (!!!!!!!!!! yay) along with the eve of J's "bwifday" by fancy feasting on two of my favorite things tonight: best and even better. The honorees better be pleased.

Favorite Item in My Closet: Linkup

You know I love a good linkup and it just so happens that the three lovely bloggers Janssen, Merrick, and Landen were hosting one today. I am allllllllll over it.

(there they are, fyi)

I decided to run with my new light denim (chambray? not sure) shirtunic. It was a recent Forever XXI purchase and I believe some fashion experts might call it an "investment piece" because it was pricey ($13) and it is obviously very well-made and timeless and will see me through countless seasons of high fashioning.

(ignore my hair - I'm going to get it cut next week for the first time since b.c. [before christmas] and I'm not sure what I'm more excited about: the forced awkward convo with the chopper or the moment she recommends I just go ahead and pull a Miley)

Okay. Left to Right.

1. Earth Muffin. I was wearing this earlier when I met Simon for lunch and he compared my attire to that of one of the attending doctors he works with who is approximately 64 years of age and set to retire any second. I don't love it either. C'est la whatevi.

2. Mediocre. I wouldn't wear this anywhere that I would be forced to remove my vest because it looks terrible. I would also maybe not wear the belt because it seriously inhibits my ability to breathe.

3. Band-Aid. Or would you call the color of that sweater more of a 'liquid foundation'? I don't know. It's obviously too tight and looks odd. I think I have about 2.3 days of wear left in those pants before they get cast into the "I'll see you in my 5th trimester" pile.


To see how they experts fared ...
click here to see Janssen's red maternity skinnies
and here to see Merrick's polkadot Maxi
and here to see Landen's yellow striped shirt

And then run and join the fun yourself because there's still time, I promise.

ever the better

Simon is on a not horrible rotation that doesn't require him to get to the hospital at a "isn't it technically still night time?" hour and so I've been able to get up and run sans covered wagon and company in the morning while he showers and listens for the roosters which has been really great.  If you ever see some bunhead running with a permagrin and blaring 90's technotronic trash on her ancient pod ... be sure to say hello.

But this morning before I was able to secure my winter hat and zip up my turtleneck fleece (what? 58 degrees is not exactly balmy t-shirt weather in my reptiley book) Sebastian woke up and instead of falling for my signature quickly-throw-a-bottle-in-his-mouth-and-noiselessly-change-his-diaper-without-removing-pampered-bebe-from-cage maneuver he turned the urine fountain on full force at the perfect in between diapers moment and my shocked curses woke him up completely and my selfish road warrior time was ruined. And the fact that he was up and ready to rock and unroll paper towel and toilet paper rolls like a pro while making his weird lispy "sssssssssssssssssstttttthhhhhhhhh" sounds royally screwed up my master "the children must nap at the same time or I will die" plan. He even took his ugly morning antics so far as to ninja-bite me on the thigh and draw blood while I was looking at something very timely and important on my phone.

And yet after alllllllllllllllll that ...

he's still managed to steer incredibly clear of the "second favorite" position.


Crazy.

blurry for a reason

you mean to tell me your cellular takes better pics? right. 

I hadn't yet taken the 18 necessary minutes to unpack and brush off my maternity pants until Julia gave me a little piece of her kind mind this weekend. After the not-quite-2-year-old watched me get dressed (as she always does) she furrowed her yogurt covered brow, gave me a quick up-down, and settled her stare on my pants before exclaiming, "too tight!!" and laid any of my potential insecurities to rest. Just like that.

(Honest Toddler who?)

Pregnancy mask? I can help.

(maybe)

Please tell me I'm not the only one that looks like I let a drunken Sebastian finger paint my face with bronzer the shade of a band-aid if I accidentally spend 39 seconds sans sombrero in the sun whilst pregnant? Please.

I don't think I realized just how bad it was with Julia's pregnancy until I looked back at photos and then ... holy Avatar.  Don't believe me? Put on your best oggles and click to see for yourself.

I didn't get it tooooo bad with Sebastian but third time's a charmer has been ugly in the melasma (chloasma whatevsma) department so I've had to get serious about treatment and prevention. Instead of getting angry and desperate and taking Clorox and a cheese grater to my face (which was tempting at some points ... ) I've found this scientific process to work absolute wonders for my super stubborn skin.

1. I would imagine you have some of this somewhere in your domicile ...

It's not exactly gentle but combine about a tablespoon of the soda with a drop or two of water (I've read some people prefer milk? not here) and scrub scrub scrub your face for a whole minute whenever you can break away from your regimented routine. For me this is approximately once or twice a week.

2. I highly doubt you have any of this floating around ...

but maybe you do. It's not cheap but it lasts a loooooong time and one drop goes a loooooong way and it is 100000% worth it. Promise. I just spread a drop of the gel on the affected ugly areas and depending on the severity/darkness of the markage it will take 2-3 days to see results and in a week I can almost guarantee that the mask will be 100% gone. Magic.

Hopefully this is helpful to no one because you've never suffered the wrath of the awful but if you've encountered a similar situation and found an even better solution ... I'm wide eyed and open eared and perched on your lap like an eager little pupil ready to learn. Teach me.

7 Quick Takes Friday

Hello and a very merry welcome to all you newcomers hailing from Jen's place! And to all you oldcomers: your welcome mat is still there but just a little bit less merry. You understand.

I'll cut right to the takes ...

1. Many days before the kids go down for their naps and Julia has indulged in eight too many goblets of whine and Sebastian has consumed far too many bowls of toilet I vow to myself and to Simon if he is free and lucky enough to talk to his docile spouse at that particular moment that I WILL LEAVE THE HOUSE ALONE TONIGHT. And then I never ever do only because I'm able to talk myself down from the crazy during naps. I'm happy to talk to an adult by the time Simon gets home and you know ... dinner, walk, bath, wall stare, bed, up to check on Julia's imaginary booboo, back to bed, up to rock Sebastian out of his shark teeth cutting tantrum, back to bed, up to tell Julia that if she wakes up one more time ....... those things all get in the way. But tonight? I did. I loaded the kids up on pumpkin cake, left them in horrible overly sugared moods and in dire need of serious (as opposed to those not so serious) baths. Simon, I'm sorry, please forgive me I know exactly what I did, and thank you. I just know I'll be the picture of peaceful and tranquil mother all day tomorrow. No harried phone calls. Almost promise.

2. I'll be 22 weeks along tomorrow and had an ultrasound earlier this week.

baby no nose Patton

The tech said that she, "DEFINITELY could tell the gender" which would of course lead suspicious parties to believe that it's a boy but I am 98% convinced it is a girl. I was also quite certain that Sebastian was a girl. So, we'll see.

3. I had one of those fleeting "I've got everything under control! Why do I ever complain about anything? I'm so silly!" moments earlier this week. I loaded the kids into the cart at Costco and made it through the store relatively quickly with zero meltdowns and marched triumphantly outside to the car to find both sliding van doors left very much ajar by a one Mrs. Hasittogether. Luckily, the suburban parking lot thieves in the market for fruit snack wrappers and matching car seats smelling of delicious toddler weren't on the premises at the time and our vessel was left unscathed.

4. I'm at a coffee shop and there are two girls(nursing students?) talking about the proper procedures when catheterizing a male patient. It's urethra a little bit bladder distracting.

5. Julia is going to turn the big t-w-o next week ...

... which is funny because everything about her just screams "so muh-tour" to me.

6. Did you nod off? I've got just the smelling salts for you ... Ashley never disappoints and I will worship her knack for making me laugh (from a safe distance) for all eternity.

7. A big thanks and an e-hug held a little bit too long out to Jen for letting me guest host this week's Quick Takes. I know I'm not alone in saying that I CANNOT WAIT to watch her show's pilot. I'm going to go all out when it airs ... a new popcorn Pinterest recipe, a little swallow of sparkling Moscato, and some restraint not to email her about all 58 of my absolute favorite moments. It'll be great.

Giveaway: Blowfish Shoes

Have you ever tried to walk through grass while wearing heels? Me too. Nightmare on sink street. I'm going to be in big trouble if wedges ever fall out of the fashion gods' favor because I will forever love a good W. Blowfish Shoes sent me these pretties and not only are they 3.5 inches of gloriously wedged cute but they are also insanely comfortable.

I have high hopes that I'll be able to rock them all the way into the waddle-happy depths of the third trimester ... they might even make it into my intricate birth plan: "look cute while contracting and wear my Illi wedges on the way to the hospital while listening to a soothing expletive-free melody while Simon dabs my brow and I apply a natural looking gloss to my lips in between small sips of chilled cucumber water." ... I'm not sure yet.

Aaaaaaaand ... Blowfish is generously giving away a pair to one of you lovely ladies. We shall be shoe twins for life. *Heel bump*

But Grace, I don't want to commit to a giveaway unless I know what the prize looks like on a real honest to goodness person.

Fine.

 From the side?

Sure.

Just follow the easy breezy Rafflecopter directions which include leaving a comment with your email address and Social Security number. Thanks!!


Good luck. I hope you (or you) win.


a Rafflecopter giveaway

instavida

 

1. death of a window, birth of a featherweight.

2. camped outside while it was "waining" ... so smawt.

3. Sebastian was allowed in the lion's den for two seconds that will forever live in charitable infamy.
4. Julia is not pictured because she was busy crafting a believable alibi (with her expansive monosyllabic vocabulary) after crushing the souls of two roses.

5. The constant ear covering is becoming mildly concerning.
6. The kids love when the interactive parent gets home from work.

7. If Grandma had cooperated this photo could've been candid.
8. Somebody call 9-1-1. Those kids need a hairstylist.

9. Don't remember what the ish was. Blocked it out.
10. Sebastian trying to shuffle a centimeter at a time in his (very) slim fits.

11. Just five martinis shy of a Betty Draper wannabe.
12. Still shuffling. Julia is using her imagination to do something creative ... I'm sure.

13. "basher twubble!!" -- wight.
14. Grasping for that 7-8 month milestone of "recognizing one's reflection" ... we'll get there someday.

15. Greek yogurt. First and last time.
16. Someone heard the refrigerator door open and sprinted as fast as his long legs would carry him to the mothership.

click it real good

"I'm pretty sure your itty bitty readership (me, Dad, and basher included) are sick of the link posts. Please stop."


Never!!


First and absolutely most importantly, pretty please join in this important novena for my old college roommate who is currently in a difficult and heart wrenching fight to keep custody of her newly adopted son, Judah. 

Guess who's back (at least for an action packed minute)?! ... check it.

Are you still looking for "the one"? I love the chase but Natalie valiantly tested out ten dark knights and generously reported her findings ...

I'm attempting this for dinner (I can hear Simon Flintstoning home ... he loves cooked vegetables) along with this healthy starch and if I still have enough apron-stamina I might try to find my butter churn. I do wish I would've seen Colleen's recipe before I went to the sto -- re. Next time.

I think I've given enough songs a thumbs down on this station that it is finally worth a listen. Hopefully you agree.

Caroline has one of the most affordable 'shop my closet' blogs I've ever seen ... with really nice clothes. Go see for yourself.

Mandy sent me this the other day. Read it and weep tears of laughter.

I completed day one of this nonsense this morning for the 18th time in my life. We'll see if I ever finish. 



Class dismissed. Be good.

Saturday Night

After a quick gander at the internet this morning I'm going to traipse out on the dangerously flimsy part of a long limb and take a gambly guess that ... you and almost everyone else just love this time of year?

We do too. You just won't catch me blogging about the beauty of the pumpkin spice, my love for layering scarves and sweaters and chunky socks with functional riding boots, the excitement of football season, or that first magical pot of chili simmering on the stove. Nope -- nary a word typed here.

After weathering a freak visit from toddlertinkervom circa 5 in the am on Saturday morning (that was of course relayed in great detail via multiple text messages to Simon who was polishing off his short little hellshift - and again via multiple exclamatory statements and reenacted momgags once he returned home), treating the patient and dozing parents to a Dora marathon, figuring out how to watch the Notre Dame game on ye old cell phone (geeeeeee whiz, technology these days), and eventually sliding into Saturday evening Mass only 2.3 minutes tardy we took a homemade picnic of Five Guys burgers and fries to one of Saint Louis' redeeming qualities: el huge park complete with el weather perfecto.

My first audible laugh of the weekend ... watching Sebastian roll for a very loooooong time helplessly down this little slope.

Stilllllllll rolling while Julia watched in semi-concerned horror. Simon went to save him despite my selfish pleas to just let him keep rolling so that I could keep snorting.

Julia treated us to her new trick du jour ... the "nakey dance"

fully clothed. And if the mature soul that taught her whatever the bleep a "nakey dance" is (as far as we can tell - it's a jig danced in a small circle -- preferably whilst wearing no clothes - especially not a cumbersome diaper while chanting, "nakey das!!!!!") can go ahead and fess up -- thanks.

Simon and I interacted with our offspring for a few brief moments ...

which they totally appreciated and cherished.

And as soon as we smartly realized that a park full of vegetation and pollen was probably exacerbating the curse out of Julia's insane allergies (note the leftover sneeze on her upside down person up above) ... we exercised our responsible parenting skills and packed up the party bus to make a hasty exit.

but not before we noticed a little something something on a little bottom bottom of a certain someone  someone.
 

it looked, smelled, and tasted like a chewed up and regurgitated fruit snack (strawberry flavor - maybe raspberry). Some crazy person must've poisoned him with some processed sugar.

Eyebrow raise.

I'm so glad he recognized and rejected the stranger danger ...

so that I could enjoy my second hearty laugh of the night.


And then Simon went back to the baby factory the next morning and the remaining 3.5 Pattons had a train wreck of a Sunday back at home but we held onto the memory of our Saturday night. Or something like that.

Chocolate Pudding Smoothie

For the past few weeks I've been suffering from a serious condition commonly known as: chronic hunger. Early morning? Hungry. Regular morning? Hungry. Late morning? Hungry. Directly after third breakfast? Hungry. 1:46 in the am? Hungry. 1:48 in the am after devouring three pieces of cheese? Hungrier. So to combat the one symptom of the chronic hunger (hunger!!!) I've been eating a lot of food. The other day over the course of 23 minutes I devoured three bananas all covered in 1 cup peanut butter each. Light and easy. Or light 'n easy if you prefer that sort of obnoxious spelling.

I've found that if I take 4 minutes to throw this little snack together in between meals then I am a little bit less hangry for the following hour or sometimes hourS (!!!!). I also lie and tell myself that it is bordering on sort of healthy.

I know smooothie recipes are sort of moot because you can't really screw up a smoothie but sometimes I just can't help but e-share with my e-friends. I'm sorryish. 

Ingredients:

1 pudding cup (I roll with sugar free chocolate and vanilla)
some spinach (1/2 cup?)
one banana
3-4 ice cubes (I normally hate ice in smoothies but I allow and tolerate it just this once)
1 (or more) heaping tablespoon of peanut butter (I like the Better N Peanut Butter)
3/4-1 cup of almond milk

I don't need to tell you that all you do is throw everything in the blender in no particular order and .... blend. I will strictly instruct that if your kids are asleep: pray quietly that the blender doesn't wake them up and if it does I would go ahead and curse. Loudly.

Simon saw me making this the other day and was super grossed out and especially appalled that I would dare to combine spinach and pudding. Then he asked for "just a little" taste and although he didn't say it I know he completely retracted his incredulous scoff and unattractively furrowed brow. He did. I know it.