When I first started reading blogs I noticed that a lot of mom blogs liked to chronicle their daily schedules. Snore. Who did they think they were? The queens of 'people care what I do every second of every day right down to the morning cuddle sessions with my sweet peas' ?? I don't know. Well, here I am ...look at me go. Today was the first day that I flew Han Solo with all three mini-patts and so I parked my laptop in the kitchen ... like I always do ... because Mama Bear needs to get her social on somehow ...
Amen. Alleluia.
I chronicled about 4 hours of fun before we were rescued by a kind visit from a fellow mom and then eventually Simone.
To preface I'll say that I went to bed at 10 and Theo was up at 2:30 (!!!!!!! if he keeps this streak alive I'll die a shocked and happy death), 4:30, and 6:00.
7:00 - Simon leaves for work. I debate getting up and making the bed.
7:05 - Simon comes back in scaring me half to death ... he can't find his work badge.
7:20 - I get up and make the bed.
7:30 - Bash yodels his morning greeting so I run downstairs and pour him a bottle of almond milk and contemplate throwing in a bottle of Benadryl (I resist) ... put him back down and say a quick prayer he goes back to sleep till noon or later.
7:45 - make a cup of tea ... I hate tea but in order to justify my cup of creamer with a dash of coffee ... I try to choke it down every morning.
7:48 - try to return some emails but Bash is up UP so I only get to one about postpartum workout DVDs ... one of my favorite things.
with the blanket Julia generously gave him from her arsenal.
decide I need to invest in more large black turtlenecks.
8:00 - feed Sebastian a Nutrigrain bar (my mom purchased and the kids are addicted which is a nice break from their hot dog addiction) while I scramble three eggs for the monster ... remember to take Synthroid .... make an egg and cream cheese on tortilla for myself
8:03 - add eggs to the Costco list
8:04 - start debating how awful it would be to take the kids to Costco alone? We really need eggs and almond milk and diapers and I'm reallllllly itching to get out of the house
8:05 - give Sebastian a wipe to "clean" his tray .... he loves it.
8:06 - realize how ridic it is to type things in one minute chunks.
8:07 - don't care.
8:11 - give Bash a Clementine to buy some time so I can eat my breakfast and finish my tea ... he blows on it in case it is too hot.
8:22 - finish my fare ... while going through all of Sebastian's tricks to keep him happy ... before I take bash out of highchair -- have to get strategic so I grab Theo from upstairs and put him in his bouncy
then run downstairs to throw a load of laundry in so I can shut both doors to both sets of stairs so that Basher stays put on the main floor (because he still hasn't mastered going down the stairs)
8:29 - finish readying the premises (securing the bathroom) ...
as soon as I put Bash down on the ground Julia is crying
8:30 - change her diaper and give her some milk and explain that Nana and Aunt Sarah went home
8:31 - come out to find Basher has emptied 1/2 a tub of baby wipes that I swiftly confiscate.
8:32 - tidy up ...
8:36 - forgot to latch Julia's door so Bash invades ... help J sit her Dora dolls up (she is slightly OCD about this) and make a mental note that today is the day that Julia WILL take a bath and change out of her Dora shirt.
8:37 - change Sebastian's nightmare of a diaper and put him in street clothes
in case we go to Costco later ... while changing his diaper .. talk Julia down from a meltdown about one of her Dora dolls slouching and sitting up straight
8:38 - return an email asking about milk supply issues after running the diaper outside which is a frigid 28 degrees but still feels really good.
8:42 - Julia tells me she needs her diaper changed (it's a bomb).
8:43 - change her diaper and discuss the prospect of potty training (she says "no") and I hear theo crying ... find Bash on top of him.
8:45 - finish changing diaper ... run that outside.
8:47 - give Julia cough medicine and breakfast of a Nutrigrain bar
8:50 - nurse theo -- curse through the pain
while I'm nursing I find Sebastian in the bathroom playing in the toilet
(I curse the person that unlatched the bathroom door to get Julia's cough medicine) then emptying the newly organized pantry (I curse the person that didn't close the pantry after getting her tea out) and finally I see him rummaging through the kitchen trash and toddling around with a diaper and an egg shell
9:17 - finish nursing
9:19 - nope .. Theodore wants more more more.
9:20 - change his diaper first while both kids watch and Bash swipes the diaper until Julia gets it back ... all very gross and unsanitary.
while nursing the kids fight over a toothbrush and Julia explains to Basher that it is snowing outside
(it isn't)
I decide the tree needs to come down .... even though Epiphany isn't until tomorrow, also realize I haven't heard from Simon which probably means he is scrubbed in and his surgery started ... which is good and he might get home at a decent hour.
9:39 - throw Julia in the bath .. Bash throws her diaper in the bath.
9:41 - make coffee and eat 1/2 a banana.
9:43 - find that Bash has not only rescued the diaper from the trash and thrown it back in the bath but that he has also emptied the very full bathroom trash into Julia's bath. Really bleeping gross. I semi-flip.
9:45 - bash finds my half eaten banana while I'm flipping and finishes it before he rubs the peel all over the kitchen walls.
9:50 - wash Julia's hair while Bash brings in a bread pan and two muffin tins and throws them in the bath water that Julia is complaining is "too hawt!!" even though it is bordering on freezing/lukewarm.
9:52 - first sip of coffee
fork in a mug.
9:53 - get Julia out of bath
papoose.
and hear Theo start crying ... find Bash all up in his grill
9:54 - throw a diaper on J and throw Bash in his crib with a bottle and nurse Theo
9:55 - Julia and I enjoy my coffee together
10:15 - rescue a seemingly tortured squawking Basher from his crib.
10:17 - get Julia dressed.
10:20 - a fellow resident wife offers to come over with her 4 girls and bring lunch from Chick-fil-A ... yes, please.
10:22 - start cleaning (sort of)
10:25 - decide to take off my nail polish but Julia requests to hold Theo and I'm a softie
holding a felt saw that she tells me is a "stewdriver"
10:26 -Find Basher drinking the rest of my coffee and soaking his shirt.
10:30 - Julia declares she is done holding Fee-oh.
10:35 - discover another bomb in Basher's diaper.
10:40 - take off polish and change diaper .. try not to gag .. Julia explains basher ate too many hot dogs.
10:43 - throw Bash into confinement (his high chair) with some hot dogs because I'm a glutton for gross punishment.
10:45 - tornado around trying to clean
10:50 - Julia (accidentally?) drops a toy on Theo so he's a wreck ... nurse again
11:00 - ask Julia to give a whining Sebastian some goldfish ... so she empties entire box onto his tray
11:10 - paint nails ... priorities
11:15 - try to change clothes but Sebastian's cries are just loud enough to not ignore so I go see what his problem is. He just wants a little attention.
11:17 - still mid-change I sweep up the fish and pray the neighbors aren't at their window.
11:20 - get dressed in my elastic jeans for the second time since Theo was born, grab a crying Theo, snap a photo with fattycakes ...
11:40 - greet kind friend and promise to never put you through that again.
The end.
I chronicled about 4 hours of fun before we were rescued by a kind visit from a fellow mom and then eventually Simone.
To preface I'll say that I went to bed at 10 and Theo was up at 2:30 (!!!!!!! if he keeps this streak alive I'll die a shocked and happy death), 4:30, and 6:00.
7:00 - Simon leaves for work. I debate getting up and making the bed.
7:05 - Simon comes back in scaring me half to death ... he can't find his work badge.
7:20 - I get up and make the bed.
7:30 - Bash yodels his morning greeting so I run downstairs and pour him a bottle of almond milk and contemplate throwing in a bottle of Benadryl (I resist) ... put him back down and say a quick prayer he goes back to sleep till noon or later.
7:45 - make a cup of tea ... I hate tea but in order to justify my cup of creamer with a dash of coffee ... I try to choke it down every morning.
7:48 - try to return some emails but Bash is up UP so I only get to one about postpartum workout DVDs ... one of my favorite things.
8:00 - feed Sebastian a Nutrigrain bar (my mom purchased and the kids are addicted which is a nice break from their hot dog addiction) while I scramble three eggs for the monster ... remember to take Synthroid .... make an egg and cream cheese on tortilla for myself
8:03 - add eggs to the Costco list
8:04 - start debating how awful it would be to take the kids to Costco alone? We really need eggs and almond milk and diapers and I'm reallllllly itching to get out of the house
8:05 - give Sebastian a wipe to "clean" his tray .... he loves it.
8:06 - realize how ridic it is to type things in one minute chunks.
8:07 - don't care.
8:11 - give Bash a Clementine to buy some time so I can eat my breakfast and finish my tea ... he blows on it in case it is too hot.
8:22 - finish my fare ... while going through all of Sebastian's tricks to keep him happy ... before I take bash out of highchair -- have to get strategic so I grab Theo from upstairs and put him in his bouncy
then run downstairs to throw a load of laundry in so I can shut both doors to both sets of stairs so that Basher stays put on the main floor (because he still hasn't mastered going down the stairs)
8:29 - finish readying the premises (securing the bathroom) ...
as soon as I put Bash down on the ground Julia is crying
8:30 - change her diaper and give her some milk and explain that Nana and Aunt Sarah went home
8:31 - come out to find Basher has emptied 1/2 a tub of baby wipes that I swiftly confiscate.
8:32 - tidy up ...
8:36 - forgot to latch Julia's door so Bash invades ... help J sit her Dora dolls up (she is slightly OCD about this) and make a mental note that today is the day that Julia WILL take a bath and change out of her Dora shirt.
8:37 - change Sebastian's nightmare of a diaper and put him in street clothes
8:38 - return an email asking about milk supply issues after running the diaper outside which is a frigid 28 degrees but still feels really good.
8:42 - Julia tells me she needs her diaper changed (it's a bomb).
8:43 - change her diaper and discuss the prospect of potty training (she says "no") and I hear theo crying ... find Bash on top of him.
8:45 - finish changing diaper ... run that outside.
8:47 - give Julia cough medicine and breakfast of a Nutrigrain bar
8:50 - nurse theo -- curse through the pain
while I'm nursing I find Sebastian in the bathroom playing in the toilet
9:17 - finish nursing
9:19 - nope .. Theodore wants more more more.
9:20 - change his diaper first while both kids watch and Bash swipes the diaper until Julia gets it back ... all very gross and unsanitary.
while nursing the kids fight over a toothbrush and Julia explains to Basher that it is snowing outside
I decide the tree needs to come down .... even though Epiphany isn't until tomorrow, also realize I haven't heard from Simon which probably means he is scrubbed in and his surgery started ... which is good and he might get home at a decent hour.
9:39 - throw Julia in the bath .. Bash throws her diaper in the bath.
9:41 - make coffee and eat 1/2 a banana.
9:43 - find that Bash has not only rescued the diaper from the trash and thrown it back in the bath but that he has also emptied the very full bathroom trash into Julia's bath. Really bleeping gross. I semi-flip.
9:45 - bash finds my half eaten banana while I'm flipping and finishes it before he rubs the peel all over the kitchen walls.
9:50 - wash Julia's hair while Bash brings in a bread pan and two muffin tins and throws them in the bath water that Julia is complaining is "too hawt!!" even though it is bordering on freezing/lukewarm.
9:52 - first sip of coffee
9:53 - get Julia out of bath
and hear Theo start crying ... find Bash all up in his grill
9:54 - throw a diaper on J and throw Bash in his crib with a bottle and nurse Theo
9:55 - Julia and I enjoy my coffee together
10:15 - rescue a seemingly tortured squawking Basher from his crib.
10:17 - get Julia dressed.
10:20 - a fellow resident wife offers to come over with her 4 girls and bring lunch from Chick-fil-A ... yes, please.
10:22 - start cleaning (sort of)
10:25 - decide to take off my nail polish but Julia requests to hold Theo and I'm a softie
10:26 -Find Basher drinking the rest of my coffee and soaking his shirt.
10:30 - Julia declares she is done holding Fee-oh.
10:35 - discover another bomb in Basher's diaper.
10:40 - take off polish and change diaper .. try not to gag .. Julia explains basher ate too many hot dogs.
10:43 - throw Bash into confinement (his high chair) with some hot dogs because I'm a glutton for gross punishment.
10:45 - tornado around trying to clean
10:50 - Julia (accidentally?) drops a toy on Theo so he's a wreck ... nurse again
11:00 - ask Julia to give a whining Sebastian some goldfish ... so she empties entire box onto his tray
11:10 - paint nails ... priorities
11:15 - try to change clothes but Sebastian's cries are just loud enough to not ignore so I go see what his problem is. He just wants a little attention.
11:17 - still mid-change I sweep up the fish and pray the neighbors aren't at their window.
11:20 - get dressed in my elastic jeans for the second time since Theo was born, grab a crying Theo, snap a photo with fattycakes ...
11:40 - greet kind friend and promise to never put you through that again.
The end.
Theo looks so dark compared to the other kids - were they all like that starting out? He's such a cutie. You look back to normal already, I'm not sure where you buy your babies from but nobody believes you actually birthed them ;)
ReplyDeleteThis post reminded me of my time with 4 littles when all I did was sweat all day long. Especially when we went out in public. Oh those were the days :)
Oh and the nursing pain. Alwaaaaaaays takes 3 weeks to go away for me. No matter what those lactation nurses say.
My life was so boring before I met you. Congrats on another cutie!! I love the photos! And the ecard? *Hilarious*
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this helps/you've heard it already, but for me, I had to use a nipple shield to make nursing bearable. Sorry if that's TMI, but it made all the difference between me sticking with it and not giving up.
ReplyDeleteI second the nipple sheild idea! Seriously is it the ONLY way I have been able to nurse all 3 of my babies. It is kind of a pain because it adds one more step to the feeding process. BUT I only had to use it for a week or two and then I was good to go without it and PAIN FREE. A complete life (errr boob) saver!
Delete-Bethany
That sounds really tough. I don't know how you do it and with your hubby working so much.
ReplyDeleteWOW, I am terrifyingly laughing just imagining my future with multiple children some day. Sorry to laugh on your behalf but the things that kiddos think of to do is mind blowing. It never ends to baffle me, even as an ex-Nanny of many years.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, you are a rockstar and Saint in the making! You should update us with the 2nd half of your day on another post, for sure. I am an avid reader of anything you write ;)
You inspire me. I don't know how you do it! Congratulations on your new bundle.
ReplyDeleteYour kids are adorable and your tales bring back so many memories(that I have tried very hard to suppress). I have 5 kids and had my first three in less than 2 1/2 years. Needless to say, I felt your pain. Thankfully they do grow up and get out of diapers. I unintentionally potty trained my second while trying to potty train my first who wasn't interested by the way. He is now 14 and doesn't wear a diaper. They eventually give in just never on our time table.
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh. I can relate - I had 3 in 2.5 years. My youngest is 9 months now. I had my house locked up like a prison when I nursed the third one for the 1st 6 months or so. I have a lock on every room of the main floor so they can only be in the kitchen and living room when I am nursing in the living room. It will save you many disasters. However you will get good at walking around and nursing if you aren't already. I have on more than one occasion hauled a 13 or 14 month down the hallway by the arm while nursing the baby. Good times! I am seriously jealous of your children's wake up times. We have a sleep in if they last until 6:30am.
ReplyDeleteWishing you all the best with your family!
In the words of Bill Cosby - "Brain Damage"!!
ReplyDeleteHilarious as always! But dang! I'm exhausted just reading this! I can't even imagine how you must feel! I seriously wish I could step in and help watch your kids occasionally! You never cease to amaze!
ReplyDeleteWow!!!! Please left me know of you need anything! Life sounds crazy but would you really have it any other way? :)
ReplyDeleteGood lord - I'm tired just reading that and you didn't even get to the afternoon! Glad things are going well with the newbie - he's adorable! Praying for the continued long sleeping stretch!
ReplyDeleteI love the minute-by-minute daily schedule. Your kids are so cute and so funny. I've been reading your blog for a few months now and love it!
ReplyDeleteWow you are supermom! So hard to keep up with little toddlers, plus nursing a newborn. He sounds like a really good baby :)! Would be interested to hear your evening routine. Bedtime is never fun around here, but it's worth it to enjoy a quiet house once both kids are asleep.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea how you find the time to blog...I need to take a lesson from you. This was a fun post to read- I might have to copy it soon! I hope the nursing is going well, kudos to you for trying it again :)
ReplyDeleteOh Grace, this story was like a Tylenol for my current baby fever. Thanks for the minutia of the day... I laughed all the way through it while totally admiring your multi-tasking ability. And the fact that you are TINY less than a week after birthing a human.
ReplyDeleteI so so wish St. Louis and New Jersey were thisclose together so we could hang out and drink creamer and make ingredient banana pancakes! Have I told you that six times already?
ReplyDeleteAlso, Ryder sounds like the perfect combination of Julia and Bash... This morning I found him on top of the coffee table which he had pushed against the wall(he used his train as a step stool) trying to reach the light switch. Are they supposed to be this strong/smart already?? PS Bash's speaking skills are awesome; i'm super-impressed. Ryder's extensive vocab consists of: 'ba,' (ball, bath, banana, bottle, bed), 'ma' (oven (?), mom, dad) or 'da' (phone, remote control helicopter, xbox controller) and 'ut' (everything else)..
OK, I'm done because i'm sure you have just one or two other more important things to do at the moment. Obviously, I don't and can therefore spend entirely too long typing a comment on a keyboard missing 23 keys (yes i counted). thanks ryder.
moral of this short story long: you rock, you're an awesome mom, and anytime you need a vaca, i hear NJ is done hurricaning for a while. stay sane mama!
obv i meant "two-ingredient banana pancakes" just fyi.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a fan of cliffhangers...did you ever make it to Costco?
ReplyDeleteThis just made me laugh loudly. I wondered that too.
DeleteTriple that from the Priorities Police.
DeleteReally- don't tease a reader with a Costco trip and not deliver.
:D
Deletedid u ??
oh, what do you think???
Deleteha.
I was in some crazy dreamland even thinking I could attempt such a feat.
Maybe in 2014.
So funny and true. At one point I had four kids four and under, the youngest being newborn twins. The insane things my older two could get up to while I was nursing two newborns was almost enough preparation for the things those twins are doing now that they have a little brother. (Dang, that was a complicated sentence!) My hat's off to you, though, since all five of mine seem far less interested in diapers than your Bash.
ReplyDeleteThis it totally déjà vu all over again for me! I think you're doing really great, even though these days are in.sane. I definitely woulda added at least three good cries in that time period!
ReplyDeleteI cannot tell you how much I love daily schedules! I think I like them better than birth stories. They make me feel so normal :) I have to ask because I am nosy: when did you shower? That is my epic battle each day.
ReplyDeletehaha this is great/hilarious. I guess a sense of humor is really the only way to get through it!
ReplyDeleteLoved reading this. I'm seriously living vicariously through you until this little one arrives. Teach me everything you know ;) Wish we lived closer...I'd drop off some food...some coffee...something! New babies are so great but it's the solidarity of all mamas that I love during this time. Please know you are in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteThank you! While I still am not sure how you keep your house so clean (not a charism of mine, unfortunately), I love that you share the good, the bad, and the ugly of your morning. It makes us moms feel normal! Glad I'm not the only one getting my social on via computer most days also. :)
ReplyDeleteI am so happy you wrote all of this down. So so so funny. I could never find the humor in the craziness like you do!
ReplyDeleteLoved it! You are a strong woman. I can't believe that Sebastian is as big as Julia! Love the pic of them looking outside together. You make your bed? Wow.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds fictitous, which means it must be true :) And I find it hilarious because...we signed up for this!!
ReplyDelete(Newbie is adorable, btw :)
I loved reading this! As soon as I finished I thought: survival. My scheduled would be riddled with things like... 9:17 stared off into the distance 10:12 decided I should take a shower but couldn't muster up enough energy to do it 10:30 ignored pleas for help from son's room.
ReplyDelete1. all three babies are SO, SO CUTE
ReplyDelete2. how many days postpartum are you? and you are that slim?
3. we have the same mug.
4. the colors in your home are really pretty.
5. "Fee-oh" ~ that is so adorable.
6. praying that your nursing pain will diminish fast and soon.
7. friends who bring lunch are a gift from GOD!
Okay, then. Three babies at once. Praying for you today.
Hilarious...As a mom to two under three, this is totally a typical morning.
ReplyDeletethat first pic of Bash kills me. HE LOOKS SO OLD!
ReplyDeletealso, in re-watching J's first meeting with Fee-oh, I realized that I love it so much because she sounds very hesitant and almost a tiny bit disgusted but is too curious to stay away. adorbs.
This is so great. Really so great! If I ever did this (which I can't now. Thanks a lot.) I would look like a complete lazy loser of a loser because oh my holy bad word that is hard. What you are going through is hard, hard, hard. Oy! Did I mention I am a lazy loser in comparison? No? I am.
ReplyDeleteJust in case you're curious, I read every word. And enjoyed all of it... so clearly you did something right with this post ;)
ReplyDeleteYikes!! I am sorry and I am just so sorry! I wish I could say it will soon all become routine but to be 100% honest...it may be like 15 years or so. But you are amazing and incredible and successfully complete more in a few hours than I do in say...a week? Maybe longer. Love this and thank you, thank you, thank you for not being selfish and taking a break from blogging to care for the revolving diaper brigade. Hugs!
ReplyDeletei really hope all the diapers and trash being thrown about was a joke. if not, you are the bravest person i know for putting up with all that.
ReplyDeleteWow! I am awestruck. No wonder you look so fantastic after just giving birth.. you never sit down and barely get to eat. :) Congrats on Fee-oh your kids are just adorable and hilarious!
ReplyDeleteWow! I am awestruck. No wonder you look so fantastic after just giving birth.. you never sit down and barely get to eat. :) Congrats on Fee-oh your kids are just adorable and hilarious!
ReplyDeleteUm... I'm a little terrified. Logistical questions like how do you go to the bathroom come to mind but then I realize since you never get to eat or drink, maybe you don't need to? :)
ReplyDeleteI know it isn't the same, but we have become habitual door-closers since we got Cotton. That little thing can't be trusted with ANYTHING. I think he and Sebastian would be friends. Partners in crime.
PS- you look GREAT! It honestly isn't fair since you just had a baby like a week ago.
you're such a rockstart mom! i'm impressed! and because it has to be said again, you look GREAT!!
ReplyDeletei actually thoroughly enjoyed this. :)
ReplyDeleteGod bless you for doing it all with a sense of humor!!! That's so intense! (Have you considered babywearing??? I couldn't survive without it! At least one is accounted for at all times!)
ReplyDeleteI just sent this post to four people because it made me laugh so much at 11pm last night.
ReplyDeletei had tears in my eyes from laughing and i was only at 9:50… as a current (soon to be former) nanny, this ish is SO spot on.
ReplyDeleteWow, I laughed till I had tears, too! Reminds me so much of those early days with my two kids. Can't imagine three... and now four for you! You are amazing. Thank you for this blog!!!
ReplyDelete