1. I just want someone with a matching vernacular to play with me.
2. Lamb Sandwich
3. and that will cost you one 4 minute almost quiet shower, Mom
The weekend's not over yet, unfortunately. I'm standing here in my running stuffs listening to Julia standing on the dining room table and open bag after bag after bag after bag of fruit snacks and frow them at Sebastian who is being contained in the high chair where he just washed his hair with almond milk. Simon should be home soon and I'll wave as I trot off into the quiet. I hope he hears this post from the hospital. You'd think we'd get better at these call weekends but I seem to have only regressed in maturity levels when it comes to dealing with them. In lieu of one of my usual tirades about how it all went down I'll break it down into fancy numbers with complaints and maybe a few nice things just to keep you on your toes ...
Revelations:
1. If you accidentally leave the bathroom door open ONE time Sebastian will slither in and chew on a razor. Lots of blood but no tears. This really solidified my diagnosis that he is a normal human being.
2. House of Cards is a really good show. Really good. I love it. It's always fun seeing shows/movies set in DC because I used to work on the Hill (where the most important thing I ever did was ask Newt Gingrich how to spell his name - which is when my career really took off) and I think the glitz and glam is a little over the top but it's a genuinly entertaining show. All thumbs way up.
3. There is a little boy living in St. Louis named Billy Bob and he along with the entire population of the city were at the Chick-Fil-A playground last night.
4. Saint Louis still thinks it's January. It's supposed to be nice this week - I'll believe it when I'm out running and the kids aren't dressed like Eskimos.
5. If you leave an event early before the dancing starts they will play Thrift Shop as soon as you leave. So many bad words.
6. If you leave a pot of water boiling on the stove long enough it will eventually evaporate and FILL the house with smoke. I mean - I knew this but now I KNOW it. You know?
4. Theo's just happy to get the ceiling's attention sometimes.
5. after Bash swept the carpet - he styled my feet.
6a. Friday night before Simon turned back into a work pumpkin
6b. Saturday night after Mass - Julia looks 5-years-old. Also, my name is Mom.
I recently discovered the boiling water smoke issue as well. Of course I was just making sure the rumors were true I didn't actually forget I was cooking.
ReplyDeleteShe finally calls you Mom??? That makes it all worth it! It took us about 2-2.5 years for John Paul to call me ANYTHING - I think it's a first child thing...
ReplyDeleteLOOOOOOVE House of Cards. Seriously addicting. We were going to try to spread out episodes, but no. Instead, we just lacked sleep a few nights in a row.
ReplyDeleteIt IS supposed to be nice this week. Until Wednesday night that is. Then it turns major yucky Thur-Fri and they mentioned (ugh, I just don't want to type it) .... snow flurries. IN MAY! Oh. Em. Geeeeeeee!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOkay and that is just in Kansas City....hopefully it gets better somewhere across the state before it hits St. Louis (well, you know...it IS MIssouri after all)
Should I be embarrassed that Ellen knows the lyrics to Thrift Shop?
ReplyDeleteAnd, the pot of water - I really should be embarrassed about how many times I've done something like that. I like to blame it on baby brain. Now I set a timer for about 8 minutes when I boil water. It's amazing how many times it goes off and I can't remember why I set it.
I recognize those Theo jams! You look gorgeous. And yeah, J does look weirdly old.
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Wooow, Anon strikes again x4. I'm secretly hoping it's all the same person. Weird? Whatever. Only semi-related to your post but it once snowed on me while I was camping at the end of May. So much so that it caused our tent to collapse. A large chunk of my soul died (once it thawed out) right there on the spot and I'm 100% certain I haven't been camping since. Praying you never experience that kind of late-[noteveninthe]season snow in St. Louis. Or anywhere, really.
ReplyDeleteLet me just say I feel super vindicated by your feelings toward this St. Louis "so-called-spring" that we're having. I'll believe it when I see it, too!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny that the Anonymous types don't have the courage to sign an actual name or a way to contact them? Even if one takes every precaution to baby-proof a house to the point of smothering their kids, there's no way to protect them from every. single. thing. Trying to live up to an impossible ideal of motherhood is going to damage your parenting more than the occasional bathroom break-in. I wonder how many kids Anon #1 has. What she/he mistakes as emotional detachment and flippancy most parents know is a sanity survival method. You're doing fine, Grace, three under three is no walk in the park! I love your blog. <3
ReplyDeleteDid you also know that if you try to steam broccoli with no water the same thing happens? But with the horrible stench of burnt broccoli added to it? Who would have thought...
ReplyDeleteHi, friendly anonymous here (I just don't have any profiles set up). Anyway, I wanted to say that I completely agree with the others that you are doing a fabulous job raising three under three, and on your own much of the time. I cannot believe how quickly some people are to judge others or say such mean things. Your children are beautiful and so obviously very loved and cherised. I recently found your blog, and it has quickly become one of my favorites. I know you must hear it all the time, but you are so witty, honest and refreshing, and I basically have a crush on the entire Patton family.
ReplyDeletebest anonymous comment today!!! Although someone invited me to check out his watch shop -- he was very nice too :)thank you!!
DeleteShe DOES look huge in that picture! And it's a bit sad that she's reverting to Mom. Although appropriate. But still.
ReplyDeleteMy son also likes chewing on razors. Why, God, why?!?!
ReplyDeleteGreetings! Very helpful advice within this post! It's the little changes that make the most important changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!
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My husband and I spent a few years and DC and love House of Cards, too. I'm not sure how far you are into the show, but it gets dark and over the top in, um, mature content. I'm no prude but I had to stop watching it. Major bummer because it was one of two shows my husband and I both enjoyed.
ReplyDeleteSome people, huh? Let them hide behind a computer screen and they get pretty brave. Don't let the haters get you down. You are fine and I think getting a minor injury with mom or dad's razor is a rite of passage in childhood. Kind of like getting electrocuted, or cutting their own hair. Or maybe that's just my childhood...
really???? Shoot! We are only 1.5 episodes in. Darn. I wonder if I should even keep watching.
DeleteThanks Nichole!
I lurk your blog, and I love it (your blog, not the lurking part - I'm just shy!). I'd like to put my voice in with the others - your kids are clearly well taken care of and safe without living in a helicopter zone. Actually, reading your blog is refreshing and is making me a LOT less scared about the idea of eventually having kids of my own one day (Can we just ignore the fact that I'm nearly 30 and have been married for almost four years?). I’ve polled some of my friends with kids to give me the “full scoop” on having kids, the good and bad, and all I tend to get is “It’s the best experience of your entire life” and “I wouldn’t trade the bad days for any of my childless good days” and the like – which might be true, but doesn’t seem to be the whole story. Or else there’s this scenario: me + husband are hanging out with another couple and their kids, and their kids are acting like caffeinated tornadoes. After one kid throws a jewelry box down the stairs and another kid starts screaming their toddler rendition of the Ride of the Valkyries, one of the parents turns to me with a glint in their eye and a cackle (?!) and says “You should have kids too!”
ReplyDeleteI think I got off track. My POINT is, your blog is refreshing because it shows your love for your kids but also the realistic side of parenting where not everything is rosy sunshine all the time. So…thanks, Grace! I could say more but I know this is just long enough to make you wish I had kept on lurking…
Politics!? Yeesh, did I miss something? Can't a mom just grab some nuggets and watch her kids play without it being a political statement? You know what's nauseating? Cramming someone into a little box marked "liberal" or "conservative" based on what you've gleaned from their (very non-political) blog.
ReplyDeleteGrace, please don't let the negative comments get you down! You speak with such wit and honesty about what it's really like to be a mother of small children. Your kids are adorable and it's obvious to me, as a long time reader, that they are very well cared for.
OMG we looooooove House of Cards and can't wait for the second season!! When they put it on Netflix, we started it out of curiosity and couldn't quit! I'll agree with Nicole....it does get VERY raunchy and husband and I would either fast forward or try to look away because of the content. (Catholic guilt? slightly) The story line was just too griping to quit! Anywho, let me know what you think when you get to those said parts.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, all those anons suck. suck suck suck. and piss me off to no end. They should stay anon because they don't want none of us Campobsessors coming after them, so I guess I don't partially blame them for remaining unknown. But still - suuuuuck.
Rant end. much love to you and the clan!
I for one enjoy your candid descriptions of your experiences as a mom. Thanks for ring open and honest. I know from talking with other friends with children that kids are pros at getting into mischief.
ReplyDeleteI guess the saying, "you can't please everyone" applies in blogging too. As if just by reading your blog we know all about every day and every moment of your life. If they don't like what they read, they can stop reading...
:) keep on keepin' on!! Your blog is great!
JessiRene
It's too true that all the baby proofing in the world won't keep the kids outta trouble. A friend once gave me a gift and sprinkled a bunch of Dove chocolates in the bag. I didn't know if the chocolates were tree nut free or not (3 year old son has a severe allergy) so I hid the bag on the top shelf in the kitchen cupboard that only contains plastic storage containers. Whilst in the shower my 3 year old wandered into the bathroom and said, "dont worry mama, I found the last golden ticket". I jumped out of the shower too fast and ran out into the family room in all my 8 month pregnant naked glory to see chocolate wrappers strewn all over the floor...luckily the google worked quickly to verify the tree nut freeness of the chocolates, saving my son from the dreaded Epi-pen and us from the pleasure of paying for yet another ambulance ride.
ReplyDeleteSo A and I were catching up on the camp...when she saw that last picture of you and Simon all hottied up she pointed at it and said "hey! there is mommy and daddy... whend you get skinny mommy?" Sigh. Then she kept kissing the screen every time she saw J saying- "that's Annwabelles fwend." So next time you in the 505 the girls must meet for real this time...
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