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21 May 2013

Conversations with Julia


While driving in the car:
Julia: Bash is a cookie monster, I'm a snuggle bug, and baby Theo is a big ugly giant

While driving in the car again and an Of Monsters and Men song came on:
Julia: Is this Cracklemore?
Grace: No but that's a good guess
Julia: I know

Watching me do her hair in the mirror:
Julia: (sigh) I are SO pretty. 
Grace: 
Julia: I not want piggy tails in my hair
Grace: okay
Julia just want some veggie tails

On one bizarre night that I made a full blown meal and Simon was home:
Grace: Julia, please go upstairs and tell Daddy dinner is ready.
Julia: (not moving) Sime!!!!!! Come get your food.

Simon asked his anti-social hermit wife to ask the neighbor to bring in our trash can while we were out of town so I took Julia with me and knocked on the door:
Grace: I kind of hope they aren't home.
Julia: just don't worry! it will be just okay!

While watching me fold laundry she picked up a pair Simon's boxers:
Julia: Oh, this is where daddy does his potty training?

A frequent exclamation when we pull into the hospital parking lot:
Julia: Wook! Dis is where Daddy lives.

No matter how many times I correct her:
Grace: Have you seen my flip flops?
Julia: hmmm no I not seen your clip clops


Saying goodnight recently ...
Simon: I love you, Julia
Julia: I wove you too, Daddy
Grace: I love you, Julia
Julia: sanks
Grace:

Whenever she wants something I'm eating:
Julia: please!! please!! please!! please!! please!! please!! please!! please!!
Grace: You only need to say please once
Julia: please once

or

Julia: please!! please!! please!! please!! please!! please!! please!! please!!
Grace: You only need to say one please
Julia: one please

Watching me drink soda out of a can
Julia: can I have a sip of your wine?

After witnessing an ambulance speed by with sirens blaring and lights flashing on the interstate:
Julia: Whoa, whats da rush?!

Playing with Simon's work badge:
Julia: is this daddy's bitch?
Grace: um, yes that is his badge
Julia: yeah, his bitch.

and bonus! Bash version ...


Grace: Sebastian, do you want some food?
Sebastian: no!

Grace: Bash, do you want to come read a book?
Sebastian: no!

Grace: Bash, do you love Mommy?
Sebastian: no!

Julia finds Sebastian crying about something senseless: 
Julia: Bash, are you crazy?!
Bash: no.

Randomly:
Julia: (fake laughing) oh, BASH! Are you kidding me?!
Sebastian:
Julia: (still fake laughing) Are you? Are you kidding me, Bash?!
Sebastian:
Julia: (more fake laughing) Bash! Are you KIDDING ME?!
Sebastian: no!
Julia: (done laughing) okay.

62 comments:

  1. AllisonMay 21, 2013 at 3:59 PM

    LOVE this post!

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  2. ValerieMay 21, 2013 at 4:06 PM

    Thank God for making kids so cute and funny (sometimes)! Can you imagine the drudgery of motherhood if He didn't send down these little gems to lighten the day?!

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  3. LPatterMay 21, 2013 at 4:09 PM

    the best.

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  4. ClioMay 21, 2013 at 4:10 PM

    I love these posts. Your kids are the best!

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  5. JDMay 21, 2013 at 4:12 PM

    Laughed so loud I almost woke the sleeping baby! Must be more cautious when reading these during nap time. Loved it.

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  6. KrisMay 21, 2013 at 4:12 PM

    Convo with Julia is my fave post topic!! I wove you, Grace..!!

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  7. chalaynMay 21, 2013 at 4:15 PM

    Ohhhhh I WOVE these posts. They always make me mildly excited to have babies who will say "no!", "please!!", and tell my husband they love him. Sanks for sharing!

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  8. Sydney McFearlessMay 21, 2013 at 4:16 PM

    This is great! I love how plentiful the quotes are in this one. I always want these posts to keep going.

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  9. KKMay 21, 2013 at 4:16 PM

    I love these posts!!! "Oh, this is where daddy does his potty training?" Is my favorite, maybe because I'm constantly thinking of potty training...

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  10. Emily ElizabethMay 21, 2013 at 4:17 PM

    haha this is where daddy lives has to be my favorite! Or the clip-clops, my little sister used to always wear plastic dress up heels all day everyday and she called them clonkys and she would flip out if she could not find them. lol

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  11. Meredith TuttleMay 21, 2013 at 4:20 PM

    I'm laughing out loud. thanks Julia! (and bonus Bash)

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  12. Anne HillMay 21, 2013 at 4:20 PM

    oh my goodness her looking in the mirror and sighing at her own beauty is so cute!

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  13. k8teMay 21, 2013 at 4:24 PM

    hahahaha yes, i'm glad bash is (sorta) in on it now! :)

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  14. JenMay 21, 2013 at 4:28 PM

    These are seriously my favorite.

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  15. UnknownMay 21, 2013 at 4:33 PM

    i'm crying from laughing so hard! my kids are laughing too... at ME laughing at the computer screen! great. LOVED THIS!

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  16. wonderchrisMay 21, 2013 at 4:34 PM

    I kept scrolling and knew that the end was coming and it made me sad.

    Convos with Julia are THE BEST!

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  17. MaiaMay 21, 2013 at 4:34 PM

    The verbal wit on this child...

    ...and you get to be nominated for MOTY (Mom Of The Year) for so faithfully transcribing for posterity.

    ...and for making me laugh. Mostly that.

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  18. MarthaMay 21, 2013 at 4:35 PM

    Thank you. Thank you so much.

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  19. AriaMay 21, 2013 at 4:40 PM

    oh my goodness this is the best. your kids are crazy adorbs. can't wait to see what theo has to offer to the group!

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  20. PidgMay 21, 2013 at 4:40 PM

    "I love you, Julia" ... "sanks" Ahh hahahahahahaha! Oh, my chest hurts from laughing. My gosh, isn't motherhood just a slap in the face and yet we keep having more! Oh I love the punishment! And my daughter McKenna was like Bash. I would ask that child if she wanted ice cream just to get her to say yes and I'll be danged if she would say no - eyebrow cocked and everything. She totally knew what she was doing; whereas I obviously did not.

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  21. UnknownMay 21, 2013 at 4:45 PM

    hahahahahahahah , this is the BEST break from revision! I wish I knew your kids in real life.


    x

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  22. kimMay 21, 2013 at 4:45 PM

    As always, so funny! I can never decide if I like convos with Julia or Simon Says better.

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  23. Kathleen May 21, 2013 at 4:50 PM

    Oh my gosh, those are so cute and hilarious.

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  24. EricaMay 21, 2013 at 4:53 PM

    julia so freakin' smart and funny. she is most definitely your daughter.

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  25. Sarah TuckerMay 21, 2013 at 5:12 PM

    Posts like this make me want kids. They say the funniest things!

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  26. Rachel // Maybe MatildaMay 21, 2013 at 5:13 PM

    My favorites, always!

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  27. VictoriaMay 21, 2013 at 5:25 PM

    This is fantastic--I just laughed aloud sitting in my car, alone, as a series of strangers walked by. I could be ashamed, but my amusement > shame, so that's a win.

    I wish you had a reality show. And that I had cable so I could watch your reality show (because I'm sure it'd be in a fancy network, like Bravo).

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  28. CarmenMay 21, 2013 at 5:29 PM

    Hilarious!!!!

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  29. Chelsea BucciMay 21, 2013 at 5:37 PM

    LOVE lololol

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  30. sayin' i love youMay 21, 2013 at 5:45 PM

    Oh, long time no see Conversations with Julia and I love Conversations with Julia!! Must read to my husband tonight, he laughs too :D

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  31. Kristina May 21, 2013 at 5:48 PM

    You seriously have the most hilarious, coolest child. Love that personality of hers. Way to go, Grace ;)

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  32. PattyMay 21, 2013 at 6:38 PM

    HYSTERICAL!! Love the ones about calling Simon to dinner and his badge. You have some very entertaining kiddos to us readers :)

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  33. LieslMay 21, 2013 at 6:41 PM

    Not gonna lie - I was thinking in my head "You let your little ones listen to Cracklemore?!?!?" and then I clicked on the link and realized it was the clean version. I approve!

    I love these all, but I do have one question. How does she lose that purse in the first picture? I mean, it's pretty distinct looking to me :)

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  34. ColleenMay 21, 2013 at 7:19 PM

    What's the rush made me lol, and I hate typing lol.

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  35. Michele ChronisterMay 21, 2013 at 7:25 PM

    Hahaha...love it! I think you may have a future blogger on your hands. Isn't it good to know that when you're old and senile Julia can carry the torch for you?

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  36. jrichardson911May 21, 2013 at 7:44 PM

    my favorite:
    Julia: Is this Cracklemore?
    Grace: No but that's a good guess
    Julia: I know
    such confidence! make sure she never loses it :)
    when you and the kiddos switch roles, in many many moons, and they are caring for you in a nursing home (or, if they really love you, at home), i can't wait to read julia's "conversations with gwace"

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  37. DevorahMay 21, 2013 at 7:59 PM

    These are my favorite posts!

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  38. UnknownMay 21, 2013 at 8:35 PM

    LOVE Bash's personal style! love it. It's a cross between double wide trailer park and an NYC Calvin Klein underwear model. Awesome!

    As for Miss Julia (President in 2060) also has a fabulous fashion sense. Who knew she would choose a Kate Spade knock-off for her purse. I mean what a talent she has. Just like her Mama.

    Thank you for making me laugh today...oh how I needed to laugh. Thanks for your prayers for Miss Courtney. She is a rock-star. God is good all the time.

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  39. Danielle May 21, 2013 at 8:59 PM

    Reading your posts always makes me snort unexpectedly. At this point, I really should expect it, but it gets me every time.

    Obviously, Julia gets her sense of humor from her Momma. Duh.


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  40. EmilyMay 21, 2013 at 9:09 PM

    So cute! Love your Julia's little attitude!

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  41. Grace in my HeartMay 21, 2013 at 9:11 PM

    Love that girl. Very excited that Bash has gotten in on the action too, hehe! :) <3

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  42. MorganMay 21, 2013 at 9:24 PM

    would anyone else be interested in a Julia Patton fan club? we could get tshirts and everything.

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    Replies
    1. AnonymousMay 21, 2013 at 10:44 PM

      I'll certainly apply for membership!

      Delete
  43. LindseyMay 21, 2013 at 9:26 PM

    *sigh* I never loved a stranger's kids so dang much. Of Monsters and Men is almost as amazing as Cacklemore. That song gets stuck in my head daily. Great post, as always!

    PS - Fingers still crossed for the "I Got Bashed" t-shirts. Just sayin'.

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  44. Jennifer G.May 21, 2013 at 9:29 PM

    Oh my gosh , that did me in! Hilarious! Is that daddy's bitch?......I'm in tears!

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  45. Andrea SotomayorMay 21, 2013 at 9:44 PM

    I think I might even like these better than the "Simon Says"!! She's so funny!!

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  46. Kelly M. May 21, 2013 at 9:49 PM

    Love.
    When they're older, you're all going to love reading this stuff even more than the rest of us do.
    These posts really make me wish I wrote down what my oldest were saying back at this age. Instead, my blog will record all the cute things of the younger ones, and nothing but the painful memories of adolescence for the older ones...which I can't make cute no matter what. But maybe someday their therapist will thank me.

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  47. LindsayMay 21, 2013 at 10:32 PM

    I LOVE all of these, especially "I are SO pretty" and "clip clops." She is adorable and so funny! I love reading about your crazy kids. :)

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  48. AnonymousMay 21, 2013 at 10:44 PM

    Favorite blog post of the week! Maybe even month :-)

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  49. BridgetMay 22, 2013 at 12:36 AM

    Hilarious!!
    LOVE little J!

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  50. JulzMay 22, 2013 at 3:02 AM

    LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE <3
    She definitely got her mommy's incredible sense of humor. :)

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  51. MarjorieMay 22, 2013 at 8:29 AM

    She is adorable. The best conversations are with toddlers.

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  52. BridgetMay 22, 2013 at 8:39 AM

    sanks when you say you love her. julia, playing hard to get.

    these posts are the besssst.

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  53. CorinneMay 22, 2013 at 10:26 AM

    Oh my gosh I always love these posts - she is absolutely hysterical. If you ever need a sitter in CoMo...let me know. I feel I would learn a lot about myself from her. And Sebastian. obviously.

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  54. Stephanie KungMay 22, 2013 at 12:01 PM

    These posts are my favorite. Hilarious!

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  55. EricaMay 22, 2013 at 10:37 PM

    I loled at clip clops, like honest to goodness.
    And, can I just say I totally commiserated re. the love you / snacks comment. My almost three year old replies to an I love you with "I NO WANNA LUB YOU!!" However, she has plenty of love for her papi. :/

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  56. UnknownMay 23, 2013 at 12:44 AM

    I love, love, love "conversations with Julia". Thank you.

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  57. KatMay 23, 2013 at 2:58 AM

    One of THE funniest posts ever from you. I think Simon's fears are being confirmed and Simon Says is going to have to step aside for Conversations with Julia.

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  58. JennaMay 23, 2013 at 9:38 PM

    Best yet! And I loved the bonus Basher quotes! Makes me feel a little better about Joseph's two word vocabulary "dada" and "buh" (bus)

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  59. UnknownMay 25, 2013 at 9:27 AM

    I have found myself in tears from laughing so hard at these posts. She tries to act like a little adult; I love it. Keep them coming.

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  60. FrancesMay 30, 2013 at 9:46 PM

    I have an almost 3 year old as well and he talks wike Julia, it would be interesting to hear them in a convo!

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