First things first around hurrr. Happy TWENTIETH Birthday to my brother Paul!!
(and hello 9-month-old Julio Pattone)
Three of my siblings (Em, Sarah, and Pablo) have birthdays over the course of five days - fiesta fiesta.
Ho-que ... onto today's skim material:
Not that any day is ever perfect but I've noticed that on the days that I put Sebastian in a far corner of the basement to keep him busy for 2.3 seconds .. ruuuuuuuun upstairs, prop the front door open, lug the stroller outside, unfold it, stop a now upstairs Sebastian from running outside and up the neighbor's wheelchair ramp to alert neighbor Gene that I want to chat about side of the house weeds for 56 minutes, grant Julia's request to sit on "Bashy's side" (the side he sat in ONE TIME during our first walk back in April), strap the boys in, strap my 5 year old iPod on, and go on a walk/run around the neighborhood .... the day is a little bit better for everyone.
I didn't go today and I'm sure Simon would L-O-V-E to rehash the phone call (phone calls are for emergencies only ... throat clear) he received around 1:55 pm to be pelted with bullet points alllllllll about my world that was on fire.
The stroller is a little bit too wide for sidewalks (if necessary on a busy road - it fits but I hate bumpy sidewalks that wake slumbering Theodores) so we run on the side of the street and if I had a penny for every car that super dramatically veered out of my way ... I could buy uno packo of Juicy Fruit. Yes, 25 cent for 25 car. Yesterday I stepped on a bird carcass and even the beat of Nelly bumping in my drums couldn't drown out the crunch of the beak (or was it the skull? I'll never know) under my shoe. One lady passed us, circled the block, came back around, rolled down her window and asked if she had counted correctly, "three whole children?" I made a big production about removing one of my ear buds to ask her to repeat the question that I'd already heard and answered, "Yes, three. And they are all whole." Smile and bud securely back in place.
(that sounds like I'm being a total b + itch ... I'm mostly not ... I was just about to start puffing up a hill and reallllllly needed the momentum of the downhill I'd just descended but ... how was she to know?)
I think my favorite favorite was on Sunday when everyone seemed to be outside moving, or doing yard work, or blowing bubbles, or taking in the residential traffic by lawn chair, a lady stopped me and asked if I was running a daycare. "Get it?" she cackled, "Running a daycare?" Got it. And yes - that was kind of funny and I'm jealous of your turquoise front door and manicured lawn that would make the prettiest Pinterest Board even prettier.
Julia's new thing is to ask if women with really short haircuts "are mans?" and this lady had a really cute cut so I'm sorry if Pixie heard Curious J but ... she did throw that gauntlet right into our laps.
Three of my siblings (Em, Sarah, and Pablo) have birthdays over the course of five days - fiesta fiesta.
Ho-que ... onto today's skim material:
Not that any day is ever perfect but I've noticed that on the days that I put Sebastian in a far corner of the basement to keep him busy for 2.3 seconds .. ruuuuuuuun upstairs, prop the front door open, lug the stroller outside, unfold it, stop a now upstairs Sebastian from running outside and up the neighbor's wheelchair ramp to alert neighbor Gene that I want to chat about side of the house weeds for 56 minutes, grant Julia's request to sit on "Bashy's side" (the side he sat in ONE TIME during our first walk back in April), strap the boys in, strap my 5 year old iPod on, and go on a walk/run around the neighborhood .... the day is a little bit better for everyone.
I didn't go today and I'm sure Simon would L-O-V-E to rehash the phone call (phone calls are for emergencies only ... throat clear) he received around 1:55 pm to be pelted with bullet points alllllllll about my world that was on fire.
she got it from her mom.
The stroller is a little bit too wide for sidewalks (if necessary on a busy road - it fits but I hate bumpy sidewalks that wake slumbering Theodores) so we run on the side of the street and if I had a penny for every car that super dramatically veered out of my way ... I could buy uno packo of Juicy Fruit. Yes, 25 cent for 25 car. Yesterday I stepped on a bird carcass and even the beat of Nelly bumping in my drums couldn't drown out the crunch of the beak (or was it the skull? I'll never know) under my shoe. One lady passed us, circled the block, came back around, rolled down her window and asked if she had counted correctly, "three whole children?" I made a big production about removing one of my ear buds to ask her to repeat the question that I'd already heard and answered, "Yes, three. And they are all whole." Smile and bud securely back in place.
(that sounds like I'm being a total b + itch ... I'm mostly not ... I was just about to start puffing up a hill and reallllllly needed the momentum of the downhill I'd just descended but ... how was she to know?)
I think my favorite favorite was on Sunday when everyone seemed to be outside moving, or doing yard work, or blowing bubbles, or taking in the residential traffic by lawn chair, a lady stopped me and asked if I was running a daycare. "Get it?" she cackled, "Running a daycare?" Got it. And yes - that was kind of funny and I'm jealous of your turquoise front door and manicured lawn that would make the prettiest Pinterest Board even prettier.
Julia's new thing is to ask if women with really short haircuts "are mans?" and this lady had a really cute cut so I'm sorry if Pixie heard Curious J but ... she did throw that gauntlet right into our laps.
this was a fun morning. it took two hours to get them dressed. and they look rill gude.
If you care to hear what I listen to when I run (and warning: LANGUAGE ... much LANGUAGE not appropriate for children that might understand English) I made a playlist and will keep making them whether you like it or not.
Here's Playlist the First. Prepare to be appalled by my taste in music.
Will you dress Theo as a gnome for Halloween? That red hooded sweatshirt is killing me.
ReplyDeletei cant believe you push that much child around.... and while running. you could not feed your kids and neglect their diaper changes for a week, and that fact alone would win your position as MVP Mom in my world.
ReplyDeleteIt's like my guardian angel realized my music was in need of some help and whispered in yo' ear... http://instagram.com/p/aJpKfzOp2H/#
ReplyDeleteYour snarky commentary makes me laugh because you say all the things I would be thinking but wouldn't say out loud. Ha. I totally agree that a run/walk is totally worth the huge hassle it is to get out the door. Usually, by the time I have both kids out the door and loaded into our double stroller, at least one of us is crying (and sometimes almost all three of us are crying. :) But even with the crying, by the time we get back home, I feel SOOO much better. It does wonders for my attitude and outlook on life. Even if I only burned 23 calories and had to listen to whining or crying 87% of the time.
ReplyDeleteI nearly fainted reading the bird part. Nothing wigs me out more than dead birds. And you actually stepped on it? I would have to burn my shoe. More instagrams please, I love them.
ReplyDeleteOh my, just died over the neighbors' comments. Classic. And so there with ya. We signed up at our local rec center over the weekend and they had to take a photo and print out a gym card for each of us--yes, all eight of us including the baby. It took a few minutes of us standing there by the front desk, and in the meantime, we had people stopping in their tracks to gawk at us (literally--mouths *agape* and everything) and ask if they're all ours, blah, blah. When I am out by myself with my six-under-age-seven the comments and stares just do. not. stop. You have your hands full! Is your daycare on a field trip? You must be busy! So original, right?
ReplyDeleteAlso, I only have a double stroller and I get looks from people all the time as if I have an exorbitant number of children (I have two... two "whole" children)... and am pushing them in something out of a Dr. Seuss book. I can only imagine the looks/comments you get pushing your stroller!
ReplyDeleteA playlist?!?! I'm so excited that I'm writing the comment before checking it out, so I don't forget to tell you that the "three WHOLE children" comment is completely justified in a snarky response. What the what? No lady. I'm running with two children and a leg from a third. Whatcha gonna do NOW?
ReplyDeleteOk. Playlist.
I'm back to read other reader comments, again. And dying. Love this one. Seriously, I need to find another blog or real friends. Sorry, but your humor is right up my alley and so is that of your readers.
DeleteI´m not going to tell you what I would have said to the two ladies meddling in your number of babies business. You were very graceful.
ReplyDeleteI'm a long time admirer. First time poster. I am hysterical with most of your posts, but as I cook dinner listening to this play list I have a new crush on you, Grace. You are ahhhsome.
ReplyDeleteDude, anyone who has the audacity to STOP YOU WHILE YOU'RE RUNNING (which I hear is very good exercise, but also difficult to talk whilst doing it) deserves a good dose of beeyotchy-ness.
ReplyDeleteI'm almost afraid of having kids because I KNOW that anyone asking if I have "3 whole children?!?!" is likely to get roundhoused. no joke.
I love your blog ... It makes me laugh and reminds me how so very lucky I am that all four of mine are grown and gone now ... Lol
ReplyDelete3 whole children? who says that???
ReplyDeleteUm. Theo is absolutely adorable. Can I borrow him for a week or five?
ReplyDeleteWhy is having 3 kids such a big deal? I am out a lot with 3 of my 4 and routinely get "the look". It's even better when all SIX (!!!!) of us are out together. I loved your "they're all whole" response.
ReplyDeleteAnd... I'm looking into your playlist since I've just recently taken up running (ha! C25K). I will say that reading about you running and pushing three whole kids was a major inspiration.
No judging! My kinda playlist! Play it on playa'!
ReplyDeleteOh and I owe you a quarter because I am totally that person who drives reeeeal W-----I------D----E around jiggers with strollers, not because I want to make a statement that you shouldn't be on the street but more because of the unexpected. Like a toddler unbuckling themselves and hoping out of the stroller in motion. Oh wait, your kids wouldn't do that! Just mine! Seriously they do. I dunno where they get their Cray?!
DeleteLove the playlist. And your snark.
ReplyDeleteyes, 25 cent for 25 car. three whole children. this was a good post.
ReplyDeleteI jogged my first sad little mile in 3 weeks or so (I'd relegated myself to the elliptical only while nauseated)...and I NEED NEW MUSIC! Yay! I only listen to profanity while running/jogging, too. No worries. Yes!
ReplyDeleteI am SUPER EXCITED about your playlist because I don't know current music AT ALL, and it may help me along my C25K journey that I have yet to complete after 20 or so weeks.
ReplyDeleteYour posts crack me up, all the time. And I don't have human children. But I do make up words and intentionally mispronounce existing words for emphasis, so I super love that you not only do that but have the balls to put it on your blog.
ReplyDeleteAnyway. My point here is that even if that woman wanted to comment on your having three kids, "whole"?? WTF? I mean, asking "are all three yours?" or "wow, three kids, you must be busy (insert lascivious wink/smile)" would be one thing (not discussing the appropriateness right now...) but "whole"???? Are you gonna say "oh, no, only 1 and 2/3 are mine".
I mean really. I'd have just given her my best blank stare. Until she drove away. And then given it to her rear view mirror.
Love Theo in the bottom picture! What a cutie.
ReplyDeleteMy kids ask if women with short hair are men, too. So, so awkward.
And I have excellent taste in music and approve of your playlist. ;) I was very happy to see some Bone Thugs there.
Oh the "lotsa kids" cracks aren't they so fun. Once with my ex the father of my heathens we were at Denny's and the waitress who was not much older than high school looked at me with my then only 4 kids and did the whole..."are these all yours routine" after all the yahs she looks at me quite down her ugly nose and says, "but you look so young" (why thank you punkwad) instead I looked to her seriously and said "Why? Because I'm 19 and he's 20?" pointing to my husband. Yah, she didn't say another word. Our kids are bought and paid for just give my soda lady... No, I don't have many friends why do you ask?
ReplyDeleteDon't know about the good looks of the boys, but Julia rockin the KU shirt is a definite hit. Rock Chalk!
ReplyDeleteYour playlist reminded me of another sweet 'Obsession' running song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIs5StN8J-0 (the music video is even better)
ReplyDelete"No, it's actually 2.17 children... the other .83 was eaten by the 1 year old. Thanks for asking, though."
ReplyDeleteare mans!!!! she is my favorite.
ReplyDeletelove Bash's polka-dots. ;)
and - you are brave. good work momma!
Whyyyy?! Why do people see more than one human child in any given place and suddenly lose any kind of filter that may be between their brains and their mouths?!?! I have a friend will only respond kindly because she wants to model Christian charity, and I really, reeeeeeally want to do that, too. But I am incapable and I usually shut that sh%t down with snark. Once, when he found out that I was expecting #6, a person asked me if we had no television. Obvs lack of quality programming is the only reason for having so many kids. I looked him straight in the eye and said "If you would rather watch television than have sex, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG." That person was my uncle. True story.
ReplyDeleteWhen people ask me dumb questions while I am running, I always stop and make a biiig production of taking out my earbuds. Because I want them to know how rude they are being. I usually ask them to repeat the question, although I heard it the first time. So.....I feel you.
ReplyDeleteAnd I get the same dumbass questions you get, only about dogs, who are usually dragging me down the street. And just as I have gotten them under control, untangled them from around my legs and am matching all three of our strides, someone asks me the dreaded and cliche, 'who is walking who?' which makes me want to punch them in the face. Every time. To quote my middle school self, people need to step off.
ReplyDeleteGirlfriend, you are awesome. I consider myself a runner, but tack three kids in a stroller to my front and I would totally change that title to "walker" real fast. Me also loves your playlist.
ReplyDeleteAs for people and their comments, just try and recognize they are (usually) just trying to connect with you, not insult or challenge you. And even if they are trying to challenge you, go for it... you're living your life for the best of intentions!
Just found your blog a few days ago and am hooked. There have been many tears of laughter & "I've been THEREs" and I only have 2 littles. You are my hero for getting 3 alllll gussied up and out the door to what? Oh yeah, more physical work for fun. We are usually in a desperate state when I decide to push my 50+ pounds of kidlet in my 34-pound stroller up and down the hills in my hood. Keep on keepin' on, Mama.
ReplyDeleteOMG..."are mans?" Love her! How hilarious! Your kids are precious looking and your playlist rocks!
ReplyDeleteI laughed so hard about the ladies with short haircuts being "mans!" And I love that last picture with Theo all snuggled up and laughing in the stroller. They're all so adorable!
ReplyDeleteNot jogging tunes but since you posted about Josh Ritter a while back (we love him, saw a show in SF a while back) I think you should check out Jose Gonzalez--also in a band called Junip.
ReplyDeleteBone Thugs and Harmony?
ReplyDeleteDon't you ever lose sight of those roots.
thanks for the playlist. i've been needing to get mine updated. my baby is turning 3 months old thursday and It Is Time for me to get back into regular running.
ReplyDeletesince we live in the middle of nowhere, i don't get the running interruptions (which would infuriate me, i think) but it reminds me of when i have my four kids at the grocery store and some Kind Old Lady stops me to chat like we're old friends and is oblivious to the utter chaos that is unfolding around us as my kids decide to take advantage of my divided attention. it takes herculean efforts to get 4 kids ready to go anywhere, let alone complete a task like getting groceries, so i try to remind myself NOT to do this to poor moms when i myself am (hopefully) a Kind Old Lady.
wow, thanks for listening.
You remind me of Emily Finch. I hope you know her: Catholic mom, six kids, takes them places in a cargo bike with ghetto blaster attached.
ReplyDeleteLike you, she's all over the internet and also awesome. Here's a profile that shows her taste in music somewhat resembles yours:
http://blog.bikeleague.org/blog/2012/09/emily-finch-video-brings-down-the-house-at-womens-summit/
okay THAT is some high praise. I've read about her but hadn't seen the video -- thank you!!! She is incredible. If I'm 1/1111th the mom she is --- I'm happy!
DeleteWhen my two oldest boys were little we did NOT EVER miss the run/walk with the double jogger. EVER. Highlight of our day. There is a bridge over a creek about halfway and we would collect acorns and gumballs along the way so we could make the requisite stop to throw stuff down in the water. They still talk about that! And love Theo in the warm red hoodie. With the bare feet! And he's little - maybe he's only half of a child? Instead of a "whole" child? Ha!!
ReplyDeletehahaha "is that a mans?" I don't have any chillens of my own, but once I was babysitting a 2.5 y/o girl who, when a larger woman with a pixie cut walked by, asked in her most outside of voices "is that a FAT man??"
ReplyDeleteI remember that stage. I was super embarrassed when my daughter asked me if a man with long hair was a girl...he's wife turned around and informed her otherwise...
ReplyDeleteLove your blog and no matter how busy I am, I make time to read it on the daily!
I'm appalled at myself for not knowing any of that music. *SOB* I promised myself I would never lose touch with new music.
ReplyDeleteYou're still my fave blogger :)
Excellent playlist, I'd like to join the Theo as a gnome for Halloween campaign, and also, what is it about you that attracts the most random (obnoxious) comments? People. are. awesome.
ReplyDeleteThis playlist might inspire me to actually start working out. I did my first video since McCartney was born and it felt so good to get up off my booty!
ReplyDelete