While teaching Julia how to play hide-and-seek in order to keep her entertained while we tried to talk for a few minutes after he got home from work ... Simon said, "well first you go count to four million .... ".
While eating lunch with the kids at the hospital I spewed one of my requisite cafeteria bribes ...
Grace: no cookies until you finish your french fries, kids
Simon: and that should be the title of your first book*
Randomly while we were driving Simon blurted out, "so I wonder if they're going to come out with a sequel to Pitch Perfect??"
Countless times after studying Theo's face, Simon asked "and you're SURE he's mine?"
After a super fun morning of receiving venty email after venty email from me about how much I hated how dirty and unorganized our house was (with only myself to blame), Simon simply emailed in return, "I love you even when you hate me."
After I stood up to go see what Julia was freaking about after I'd put her down for the night Simon said, "welcome to the Patton household where kids don't cry it out until they're 17 years old."
In the parking lot at the park while I was corralling the older two and after he'd put Theo in his car seat and made an unfortunate discovery AND very much within earshot of surrounding peoples Simon shout-asked, "could you please stop lollygagging there is POOP ON MY HAND."
Seconds after Simon got me to admit that the newest Bachelor isn't the ugliest man in all of the land I received an email titled, "my workout inspirashe" with this photo attached ...
And after I texted him a photo of the two of us from the weekend he immediately responded, "what do you want me to do with that?"
*no plans to write a book ... Simon is just super nice.
I absolutely LOVE Simon Says posts! Although all of your posts give me the required laughs I need to get through my own solitary pain ... wishing we were friends in real life, -katie
ReplyDeleteThis is the first Simon Says post I've read. I think you're hilarious and even though you're 200x more fabulous, I feel like we have some similarities (I don't blog stalk many people I don't know--but I made an exception for your blog because you're clearly awesome). I guess I shouldn't be surprised to hear your hubby sounds so much like my own. I guess it's just a good combo of personalities. :)
ReplyDeleteI love these posts...I truly do. I think Simon is related to my husband. They sound so much alike. Love Simon's workout "inspirashe" as well...hotness 101.
ReplyDeleteHow could you NOT write a book? I mean, you've seen "Sh*t My Dad Says", right? You would KILL it Grace!
ReplyDeleteAnd those nasty emails you bloggers get, yikes. I'm personally too busy memorizing your hair in pictures to concern myself with how your perfectly lovely house would measure up to Martha Stewart's (just fine IMO) but people c'mon! How do you deal? I get enraged just thinking about it.
Anywho, signing off. Great post, as always!
They are in fact making a pitched perfect 2!
ReplyDeleteNo book, YET!
ReplyDeleteMy husband said he would deny the fact that he loved Pitch Perfect
ReplyDeleteHahaha men are so silly! I love this!
ReplyDeleteOh Juan Pablo got nothing on Simon!
ReplyDeleteHilarious! These posts are the best. My husband says some off the wall things, but I never think to make a mental note of them. I just laugh...sometimes...and remember that the man is crazy. Or I made him crazy...or something like that.
ReplyDeletehaha, grace! this seriously just made my day.
ReplyDeletexo
jenna
www.mamadazeblog.com
Too good. And yes to the finishing French fries before cookies.
ReplyDeleteLove this one! The photos are great with his words right under them.
ReplyDeleteHow does his hair have so much body!? I would love to have hair like that.
I love the first one, Simon looks like a mad Hulk :D sorry, Simon.
ReplyDeleteHah no wonder Julia is so hilarious with the two of you as her parents! Nice "workout inspirache" there too!
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering is Simon is as funny when he's on the other side of the stirrups? Every ob/gyn should have a good sense of humor. The doctor that delivered my two babies was famous for his wry observations in the delivery room. His patients would compare our one-line delivery stories. Keep in mind that this was in the era of gender surprise because when I had my babies they only did an ultrasound if there was a complication. His proclamations of the gender were epic. I could SO see Simon making funny like that.
ReplyDeleteETA to say the doctor that delivered my FIRST two babies. There are three. The third delivered too quickly for the doctor to make it. He was delivered by an RN with some midwife training.
ReplyDeleteThey are! They ARE coming out with a Pitch Perfect sequel! It's set to come out in 2015 and my household is irrationally excited.
ReplyDeleteAgain, my pulse went up a little when I saw the title! Nerd alert. Anywho... Loved "crop my face out".
ReplyDeleteAs for JP as the new Bachelor, I'm not sure how I feel. Yes, hands down, niiiiiice eye candy. But, I don't know if I up for him, you know? No? I don't know, I sure I'll watch regardless, but I'm not super jazzed.
New Pitch Perfect: http://insidemovies.ew.com/2013/04/16/pitch-perfect-sequel-2015/
ReplyDeleteSime just needs to realize that residency is hard, but single-ish mom to Jul-astian-odore is SO much harder. (From a fellow surgery resident. At least the people we deal with are often under anesthesia.) Loves!
EXCELLENT roundup today :) I'm confused...you are a JP fan or you aren't? Was Simon trying to convince you he is attractive? Please clear this up, I need to know where you stand.
ReplyDeleteAlso, kids don't cry it out around here either...it gives mommy the shakes.
hahaha this was hilarious! I'm gonna need more Simon says posts
ReplyDeleteI laughed out loud with the crying it out comment! My daughter is three and we are still working on it. I sooo get it!
ReplyDeleteI just wanted you to now I burned my dinner because of the level of enjoyment I was experiencing from this post.
ReplyDeletePretty sure your book would be one that I actually buy and read over and over again when I need a lift. So, get on that in all your spare time, k?
ReplyDeleteCan you please tell Simon that I have wondered the EXACT SAME THING about Pitch Perfect?
ReplyDeleteGreat minds think alike, I always say.
I dont even know what pitch perfect is...but I did buy some mascara from your reader's recommendations yesterday!!
ReplyDeleteI just love your Simon Says posts! He cracks me up!! And tell Simon that yes they are working on a sequel to Pitch Perfect :)
ReplyDeleteI've said since day 1 you should write a book! like, back when you and Simon were still in the email-fb-phone dating stage. Just think about it!!!!
ReplyDeleteHis aversion to picture taking, while at the same time being married to you, is highly comical!
ReplyDeletethe fries/cookies/first book title thing is really, really funny.
ReplyDeleteDying. I have to say that I think we'd be friends in real life. And so would our husbands.
ReplyDelete"Lollygagging". I literally spit corn (lunchtime) at my monitor when I read this.
ReplyDeleteWe love "Simon Says" and "Conversations with Julia" (I always make T come read them after I do because they are just fabulous). Can you come move here so our families can be friends in real life? Germany needs doctors, too. And Munich has all these extra Catholic holidays... just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteBut really though... you could write a book. I would read and reread and read again.
ReplyDeleteHilarious. My husband HATES having his photo taken too, and especially hates having it posted online. So I try to respect that, but then he gets mad when there aren't as many pictures of him in our scrapbook. Dude, make up your mind.
ReplyDelete