Eggless Chocolate Chip Cookies

On Sunday night I wanted to do something nice for Simon because he'd just worked a zillion weekend hours and the hours he spent at home were with sick kids and a vom-covered wife and approximately zero fun in the club. So! His favorite kind of cookie is chocolate chip and since we finally got our oven fixed after many months ... it's best to not even turn the oven on in the summer unless you fancy yourself a sauna which I do not during the St. Louis summers so it wasn't a huge deal plus we all know me + any sort of food prep is mostly laughable but! now that it's fixed I'm like ... 'oh how difficult can home made hamburger buns REALLY be?!' - we'll find out in about 10 minutes. Simon, I apologize in advance and wow this was a digression from the original digression. Back on track. Snapsnap.  ... I turned to my favorite forum for question asking ... the Facebook page and asked you fine readers what your favorite recipes were. You MORE than delivered and I was swimming in options! So as I started to narrow them down I realized that we had no eggs in the house. Of course we didn't. So I looked up a few eggless recipes and combined and tweaked and when Simon finally hailed from the hospital he sang their praises. Fake song or not I'll take it.

HOW YOU DO
preheat oven to 350 degrees
gather ...
2/3 cup butter or margarine (but really, butter is much better)
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 tablespoons of water or black coffee (coffee! use coffee)
1 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cornstarch
1 cup of chocolate chips (I prefer milk chocolate, Simon hates them so we go with semi-sweet, boo)
mix
Melt the butter and mix the first four ingredients until blended. Add water/coffee and then the flour, soda, and starch until just combined. Slowly add chips but don't over mix. Just don't. I know it's proper baking technique to use 4 different bowls to mix various groups of ingredients but not my style when I'm holding a Theodore and telling a Sebastian, "you can have a spoonful but you'll hate it" as I give him a shake of curry powder on a spoon. I was right. Really right.
bake
for 9 minutes. Our oven seems especially hot in comparison to our old oven in Wichita so ... use your best judgement here, I guess.
eat

 
And the best part about eggless cookies?
the dough ...

 
Julia was semi-involved until she grabbed a cookie that was still a little bit warm and she claimed that she had suffered a burn that would require an antacid (a pink one) and some milk on the couch. So ... she and her little club of imaginary drama queens were clubbing it there.

During the summers when I was home from college I worked as a server (waitress?) at Red Lobster. Make all the fun you want but it was generally insanely busy and decent dinero and taught me great lessons about tipping and customer service and how to deal with the rudest people on the face of the puh-lanet. Anyway if you've not been you won't know about the addictive Cheddar Bay Biscuits that are basically Bisquick and cheese and garlic and delicious and 33 grams of fat a pop. They have plenty of butter mixed in - trust me and the grease stains on my shirts - but you'd be shocked at how many tables acted completely flummoxed when I didn't bring butter to accompany the biscuits. The running joke among servers was, "should I bring a cardiologist to the table too?" laugh, laugh. Not funny but it was at the time! Anyway, these cookies probably house more butter per cook than the biscuits with extra butter so .... joke's on me. Or us. I guess.

The end.

Enjoy.