Rocking in Memphis

... vacation posts continuing. I tend to barely skim vacation recap posts so why I keep torturing you with my own is beyond me. I really should examine my conscience here. But! This is the last one for a few minutes. I promise.

the drive down.

The four hour trip down to our destination was a welcome breath of fast and furious air after our trek to Wichita two weekends prior. Julia pulled the same, "oops! I guess I forgot to get ALL my potty out" stunt two minutes after we pulled back onto the Interstate after stopping to get her first installation of fluid out ...

light feet, empty bladder, can't lose.

Aside from toting a little potty in the trunk (not for me, but thanks ... we are all allowed to have our quirks and mine is no toilets in the car) - how do people with more than one potty trained child travel?? I texted Rachel and asked and she responded, "Gatorade bottles" ... so we'll see what Sebastian thinks about that when the time comes in several years.

the hotel.

We stayed at The Peabody where Lisa Marie Presley was sitting in the lobby bar with ginorm sunglasses (sadly ... this was reported to me by someone else after she'd left but ... lucky for Lisa because you better believe I would've shed my outermost introverted hermit shell for a really awkward and enthused request for a photo ... with all 3.5 kids).

But more excitedly there were these adorable little critters for the kids to fawn over ...

AND then there were ....

DUCKS.

I'd heard that there were ducks in the lobby and that there was a little ceremony at 5 where the ducks march themselves onto the elevator and upstairs to their rooftop home and I thought the kids might enjoy that but what I was not prepared for was hysteria the size of the Oscars ... 

shut the duck up.

(stolen directly from the t-shirts the gift shop was selling)

They let the kids sit next to the red carpet so that they got a good look at the circus of humans and the five ducks ...

Sebastian was like, "what the duck is going on?"

And then the idea was that the parents stand directly behind their offspring to supervise but no. I lasted about .05 seconds before I was elbowed out of the way by phone camera wielding crazies wanting to get! a! million! photos! of! the! DUCKS!!!!!!!

And I let them because you just don't mess with that breed of insane.

I did snap these which makes me a hypocrite, I suppose. But ... I didn't want to deprive Theo and Simon of the experience.

(for the record ... it was neat to see but it brought out a lot of ugly in a lot of people and when mother and children are separated for the sake of a series of grainy photos ... I'd just like to think there is a better photo op involved .... but I guess ducks are just so hot right now. I don't know.)

out to dinner.

Simon had a dinner he had to scamper off to but his family hadn't eaten anything above the nutritional grade of cardboard for a million hours so we went across the street to eat at a restaurant that was not the Costco snack bar or Chick-fil-A. We were whisked to the back room which was JUST fine with us. Simon ordered a beer but they totally misheard him and thought he had said trough because 32 ounces later ...

 
he didn't care where Sebastian's "chruck!!!!" was being driven.

Have I told you that Simon has recently discovered the delight that is Siri on his phone? Here we have him asking her for walking directions to his conference dinner because typing is for chumps. And when I receive texts that end in, "excavation point" .... I know that he's dictating messages to his wife and spending time with the other lady in his life.

Theo was thrilled with the restaurant's soundtrack ...

I have terrible taste in music but he takes it to new and mortifying heights, that Theo.

the hotel room.

And the first night in the hotel room the big kids had their first run in with (you'll never guess!! duck-shaped) soap NOT designed with kids in mind and decided to scrub each others eyeballs -- a little explanation for anyone within a 700 mile radius that heard toddlers screaming while trying to kill each other with eyes half open.

before the acid war.
Theo be like, "I'm done ... please towel me off and fetch me a clean bra."

We had realllllly counted on one of the portacribs being able to fit in the bathroom but the reality of the situation ....

was a very obese NO.

So ... adventures in co-sleeping commenced.

The first night began like so:
Sebastian with Simon
Julia with Grace
Theo with crib in the corner

The night ended like this:
Sleeping Sebastian's feet propped on sleeping Simon's face
Sebastian's urine all up on Simon's side of the bed
Julia's body perfectly perpendicular to Grace's and Julia's feet propped comfortably on baby #4
Theo laying on Simon
Crib all alone

And night #2:
Eight rounds of musical beds that ended with Sebastian getting a bed all to himself and Theo scoring himself a solo bath (supervised by Simon) at 4:55 in the am. We'll keep working on our hotel skillage. Practice makes mediocre --- > Patton mantra.

Beale Street.

I had a couple of Starbucks giftcards burning a hole in my diaper bag so I decided to be adventurous and trot around downtown to hunt and gather some caffeine for me and the baby and some organic apple juice and non-organic donuts for the kids.

Well. After I tried to attend the spouse's breakfast in the hotel restaurant and this is how that went down ...

Grace: We're here for the spouse's breakfast
Hostess: oh, the deli? did you say you were looking for the deli downstairs?

Aaaaaaaand ..... cue my cackle and exit with double jogger and Julia on foot beside me because we only like open-armed welcomes.

;)

I wouldn't have stayed anyway because the restaurant was far too fancy for the likes of the kids (ahem ... Sebastian) but her trepidation over the prospect of having us dine on the premises was hilariously transparent.

So ... out to the wolves and the wild with us!

After several blocks and a little run-in with a Segway tour going the opposite direction and Julia asking and asking and asking where the, "starbocks" was and this being prettttttty much the only beverage I could find ...

I hate beer but I was mildly tempted.

We found our destination just in time for Julia to have one of her infamous potty emergencies so we ran back to the hotel and then we went to the zoo.

Graceland. 

As fate would have it ... a Memphis native (hi Erin!) had randomly commented on the baby name post a few weeks ago and we emailed back and forth a bit and I made the bold move to ask her to babysit while we were in town. She and her husband agreed (bless them!!) and took awesome care of the kids .... got them ALL to sleep in the same room and brought library books about the Peabody Ducks and trucks for Sebastian and window stickers for Julia and were really phenomenal .... if ever you were wondering if you should start a blog. You should! You just might find amazing people to watch your notsoamazing kids in foreign lands.

And while they were watching the kids Simon and I had the pleasure of touring Graceland with the conference crew which was a lot more fascinating than I had anticipated. It was a lot smaller than one might assume and has been perfectly preserved just as Elvis had left it .... shag carpet, mirrored ceilings and all.

photo collages are the worst. sorry.

I was also not prepared for, "and step to your right to find Elvis' grave site in the meditation garden..."

what.

People still bring flower arrangements and leave notes and it was quite the experience.

Are you still there??

I didn't think so.

So .... that's that. In a nutshell the size of Alaska.


*and I think I might stoop to the level of dedicating an entire post to this tomorrow but if you're so inclined would you mind donating a minute (I think!! ... it better not take longer than that!) of your time to a vote for the Camp .... that would be awesome. And I don't take awesome lightly.

Not
at
all.

Thank you.
Thankyouverymuch.