short stories and shoes

"Gracer - the toilet won't stop watering!!!!!"

- Julia yesterday during her "nap"

And she was right. It watered all over the bathroom floor, the hallway, the kitchen, and eventually the basement ceiling leading to actual ceiling chunks falling onto the basement floor because they couldn't handle the weight of said water. From my limited knowledge and lengthy investigation of the empty toilet paper roll (previously fresh and full) I believe that she unraveled the entire roll and attempted to flush it to its death ... which resulted in the great toilet vom sesh of 2k14. And while I was trying to quickly! quickly! quickly! mop and sop up the disaster the boys woke up, smelled my distracted demeanor, and emptied the pantry and all of the accessible cupboards. All of them. And the pantry - I mentioned the pantry, right? And Theo discovered a full box of pads by the name of maxi and went to town ... he decorated the entire house with those suckers with the sticky backing.

So that was yesterday's carnival.

And today ... Phoebe was woken up by the sound of me putting the three big kids down for naps (always! it's her thing) ...

So I was just soaking up some special time with the little lady and contemplating the possibility of a nap when Julia knocked on the inside of the attic door and said that she had something REALLY important to tell me.

Oh, good.

...  I think she was scarred by yesterday's toilet fiasco because apparently she bypassed the toilet and went straight for our bed (where she naps) BECAUSE I just had to cut her shirt (a new shirt! do you know how many new shirts I've purchased for her ... ever? ONE -- and I just cut it ... so please know that I did not make this decision rashly) off of her body because the "didn't bother with a toilet" situation involved more shit than I knew what to do with. And right now my days involve a lot of shit ... but this was way out of my realm of shit expertise. I've never seen or smelled anything like it -- we'll just leave it at that. And she's never allowed to eat food again. J to the K ... calm down, parenting po-lease.

Oh, I know it all comes with the parenting territory but sometimes the territory is really bleeping gross.

Switching gears.

I have a bad habit of mindlessly browsing eBay in the middle of the night when I'm up with Phoebe and I bid on two similar pairs of shoes and oops! won them both.

Which should I keep? 

Or option C - sell them both and look for something flashier?

Help me live my life to the fullest, please.

Thanks.