the state of the Patton

That title suggests a more serious tone rather than the baby book theme I'm about to chuck your way. Sometimes I'm struck with thoughts like THE KIDS ARE SO BIG AND GROWN UP AND HIGH SCHOOL IS JUST AROUND THE RIVER BEND and then of course, I have to check myself because three of them are still in diapers. Hold off on the colorful meltdowns until someone actually goes to kindergarten, Queen Drama. So I just wanted to freeze time for the hottest second while I jot down a factoid or two (UPDATE: I went with three fax ... such a mom) about each of the kids. Right here. Right now.

AKA ... this post will only be mildly interesting to the grandparents.

We'll start from the tippy top with Julia ...

the queen on her throne barking orders at Sebastian to find her special book while he abides and scrambles around trying to keep her happy. They have a healthy working relationship.

1. Julia has taken to calling Simon, "Sime" ... like, "oh, Sime! don't be so silly! I know you brought us donuts from work!".
2. She is constantly digging up worms and roly polys and bringing them to the space one inch in front of my eyes. I don't love it.
3. She is napping again! All it took was setting up Sebastian's former bed upstairs and now she sleeps there and always tells Sebastian she slept in his bed. You know how much he cares? None. None cares at all. Whatever it takes.

Moving onto Mr. Careless himself!

he was so pleased I was taking his picture and wanted to see them all after I was finished snapping a million.

1. Still OBSESSED with trucks. All trucks, all the time. If you ask him how old he is he says, "truck cake" because age means birthday means cake with a theme.
2. Sailor mouth. He's picked up some not so great language from oh, I don't know ... his parents, I suppose. He uses the words in perfect context and it's horrifying and slightly humorous but don't tell Simon I said so.
3. He still calls Phoebe, "Fifi" and will gladly pet her head all day long but has no interest in holding her which is probably for the best as far as safety goeth.

Theo

his official perch.

1. The kid loves Phoebe. Loves her. I thought it was just the newness of a new baby in the house but he's stayed loyal to his affection each and every day. He tried to brush her hair (aka her head) today and it did not go over well, shockingly.
2. Purses. He likes to throw anything with a strap on his shoulder and make a big production of saying goodbye and make sure we know he is headed out and then he goes to the front door and waits to be let out like a dog. Like I'm just going to say, "hasta! have a blast out in the street!" ... no.
3. Learned how to safely climb down the stairs. Next to grocery cart sitting ... it might be my favorite milestone.

Phoebe

cheeky.

1. Six weeks yesterday. boo, hiss. Don't grow up, please.
2. Is sometimes super fussy in the evenings which sends me Googling and convinced she is colicky but she's been better the past few nights and hey! she's a baby that cries on occasion. CRAZY.
3. She slithers and sweet talks her way into our bed most mornings and happily commiserates with me when the big kids sound their barky sirens at their usual ungodly hour. She's a peach.


... and Grace and Simon are big fat snores. No milestones to report today.

Thanks for humoring me. Off you go to spicier pastures.