Internet take the wheel

Short story time.

The other night Phoebe was really needing the loving and undivided attention of my arms while I made dinner (frozen pizza) so I had the genius idea to just "put her on my back in the Ergo" because all the other moms make it look so easy! And so I did and she hated it (strike zillion, Ergo! I know everyone loves it but ... we must be missing something over here) but in the process of buckling one of the buckles I cracked my right index fingernail almost completely in half (okay, strike zillion and ONE) ... I won't post a photo but it's really gross and it's covered by five band-aids because I live in constant fear that it will catch on something and I will die. The pain kept Baby Grace up the entire night while she dreamt up the invention of fingernail epidurals and cursed the inventors of baby wearing (just kidding, but I am serious about the epidural). Anyway, my point is that I'm blaming my fingernail injury (slow typing, a true baby here) on the fact that I'm writing a post just to ship you off into a million other (better!) directions because I know you have nothing better to do five days before Christmas than click a grip of links. (Also, I ordered and am trying both this carrier and this carrier and plan on sharing my detailed thoughts on both - get excited.)

Okay, here we go.

First and foremost, please keep sweet Courtney and her family in your prayers during this undoubtedly difficult and trying time.

Here's a new-to-me blog that I'm loving. This post especially.

You probably saw this all over Facebook but why you should drink hot water and lemon every morning.

This is as close to holiday "baking" that I've come this season.

Theo is in the throes of a major cleaning phase so he may or may not be getting this for Christmas from a thoughtful and generous uncle (thanks for the idea, Amelia!).

Phoebe is getting nothing. Just kidding.

Because I've done 100% of our Christmas shopping online, I finally signed up (took three seconds) for this brilliant website and am just kicking myself for not doing it YEARS ago. Live and learn. And regret, I guess.

I'm reading and enjoying this book thanks to Fran's recommendation!).

I've said it once and I'll say it again ... I really think Alison would make the most fun friend.

I finally joined a gym! Was my main motivation the free + unlimited hours of childcare? Perhaps. But I've had to carry a flailing and kicking and crying Sebastian (the smallest Patton child, naturally) out of Kids Club the past two days while Julia crossed her arms and calmly said, "I don't like you right now" (um, look at my care) when I told them it was time to go so I don't think they hate their time spent in the room with 89 trillion toys. But my important question is ... any good upbeat music you care to share? I can only listen to this song so many times in a row before I start feeling a little bit obsessive.

Whenever I leave the house I really should be wearing my glasses, lest I mistake a perfect stranger for a friend and makes us both feel nice and awkward so these tips were so appreciated.

Simon accused me of playing favorites with Phoebe on Instagram ...

... to which I say the kids have all had their time to shine and hers just might be now. Or, yes I'm guilty. Whatever.

I'm sure I'll bug you before then but I hope you have four very merry and stressless days leading up to Christmas. Simon has tonight off (party emoji galore) so I'm off to scour Netflix for the best and cheesiest movie he'll let me get away with.

Bye.