whole30: the nit and grit

Oh, you thought I was going to let you get away with not hearing about the 30 days in excruciating detail?!

You don't know me at all.

Cackle.

No, I won't be throwing our three daily squares at you because ninety meals is a lot of typing and tis the season of busy and you have (slightly!) better things to do.

Not to toot my own horn but I did do a pretty phenomenal job of documenting the month.

Ahem.

The Gist: to go 30 days without consuming any added sugar, baked goods or treats, dairy, grains, alcohol, or legumes ... aka anything that tastes good. Focus on eating good natural fats and protein (meat, seafood, eggs) and vegetables and two servings of fruit per day.

Why?! I'm sure everyone has different reasons for embarking on the treacherous journey but I have always battled (battled, Grace?! FINE - that might be a little much ... but it isn't fun, okay?) severe insomnia and stumbled upon Whole30 in the middle of an especially bad night and read how well people slept and so the next day I started with zero planning under my belt. Simon listened to my plan in horror and then decided to join me because he's the nicer spouse.

How bad was it? It wasn't that bad!

Ever since college I've been relatively mindful about not consuming a ton of starch BUT I do love the dairy food group and me and refined sugar have a very on and off relationship. Mostly on. Simon admits he was in a nasty mood the first several days because he never ever has to worry about what he eats and will always probably fit into his suit from high school. No, I don't hate him. At all. But he came out of the funk after about a week and kept remarking how good he felt. I found the second half to be much more difficult than the first half because the newness and excitement had kind of worn off and I started sort of unhealthily obsessing about eating a block of sharp cheddar cheese like a banana. Sugar? Not a temptation at all but cheese ... I missed it. A lot. Simon said he missed pizza and soft drinks (pop, Coke, whatever your region calls it!) the most.

What did you eat? Lots and lots and lots of eggs which was great because I love eggs. Aidells chicken apple sausage was a staple for us sautéed with vegetables, Whole30 compliant chili (with sweet potatoes), salmon with avocado, spanish tortillas, more sausage, more eggs, burgers with sweet potato buns, burgers with lettuce buns, quiche with sweet potato crust, almost any and all fruit, the occasional salad with oil and vinegar, and maybe I should've kept a food log because I am blanking on the rest.

The Cons? This is definitely my issue but I found myself getting a little worked up every afternoon about having to make dinner. Grace Domestica Patton. Not that I don't ever make dinner but these meals required a bit more thought and chopping and prep than I'm accustomed to. I got into a serious sweet potato rut and I'm not sure when I'll be able to eat them again (I overdo it with things I love -- especially music -- then hate the thing for months and months following the binge). I usually catch up on housework and enjoy the quiet and hang out with Julia while the three little kids nap but now that time was spent getting dinner sorted out and I kind of hated that. Again, my issue and I can feel your warranted eye rolls through the screen. Also, it was definitely pricier than our usual grocery bill and I found myself going to the store almost every other day because I'm incapable of not forgetting a few things on my list. I'm sure most humans would simply make a meal plan, buy the supplies, do some prep, and follow through but I have to complicate everything.

The Pros? I'm going to forget some but I'll list what I remember right this second. I slept better almost instantly. I stopped waking up in a fog and had immediate energy whenever the child du jour (usually Theo) start cock-a-doodle-doing at their usual ungodly hour of the late night/early morning. I stopped getting caffeine headaches (I still drank coffee with canned coconut milk on occasion but not that often). Since I've been off the Whole30 I've had ~5 cups of coffee but my caffeine headaches have yet to return if I don't have coffee in the morning. I'm making the slow switch to morning tea. My skin was super clear. I stopped having that afternoon slump where the couch purrs my name and invites me to just "take a break! you deserve it!!" and then 49 minutes later .... I've accomplished nada. I stopped craving dessert after dinner. I was no stranger to a handful or three of semi-sweets but those cravings disappeared within the first 3-4 days. Simon and I sometimes split a grapefruit after dinner but we never needed it. I was always pleasantly surprised that after dinner I was good and full for the night. I never woke up hungry or in some awful sugar hangover. I also realized that I really enjoy things with yellow mustard and don't need to douse everything in ketchup which was a nice (albeit silly and minor) revelation.

did you lose weight? the program stresses time and time again that this is NOT a weight loss program. Many people lose weight but that's not the point and you'll be disappointed if you do the Whole30 TO lose weight. Would I have liked to kick the final few Phoebe pregnancy pounds to the curb? Of course - but I wasn't stressing about it especially because I exercised zero times. And so with that said! I lost 1 (one) pound which I attribute to the fact that I was already a super healthy eater. Laugh. No, not at all. However, my clothes fit better and I noticed my arms lost a lot of jiggle. Simon lost 12 pounds. And he wasn't even that strict. He did the best he could at the hospital but sometimes 24 hour shifts + the hospital cafeteria at 1am aren't the best combo but he did a phenomenal job and could happily declare that he was down to, "wedding weight, b*tches!!!" so, there's that.

so, now what? Simon kept saying throughout the 30 days that if he learned anything it would be how mindlessly he ate calories and how good it was to be mindful about every single thing we ate. And I agreed. I don't foresee us going Paleo full force but moving forward I'm trying to leave sugar and grains out of dinner completely. We haven't started back on yogurt but I should probably be more mindful of the cheese consumption situation. I'm always trying to eat more vegetables and looking at Paleo + whole30 boards on Pinterest is a great source of inspiration to try to fit more into our meals.

would you do it again? Probably! I read that the founder (Melissa) occasionally does whole5's or whole7's to get back on track (but I think she predominantly eats Paleo otherwise) and I can see myself going that route but I'm definitely not opposed to doing another one in 2015.

do you recommend it to the general public? YES! If only for the great exercise in discipline. Of course it's about food but it was rewarding to look back on the month knowing that we did something that wasn't always easy or convenient (my vice) together and we didn't kill each other. Wink. Half laugh.

This is definitely helpful to no one but ..... nothing. I just wanted to give a little month in review and give anyone that's even sort of considering it a big push in the YES direction. If I can do it ... you can too. 100000%.