Regarding the post title: ne-eh-eh-eh-ever one to exaggerate over here. So, it's not entirely or even a little bit accurate but I'm not sure there is sum of money large enough to let a stranger see the state of the inside of our minivan right now because as it serves as our occasional and temporary daytime home away from home ... it's bad. Real bad. And someone (name rhymes with Julia) took a pen to the outside of said mobile home and left her signature monsters-meant-to-be-humans-but-they-look-like-monsters drawings on some lucky doors. I think the poor Odyssey might've aged nine years this past week. It'll live. I hope.
Anyway. We are heading into week two of the house being on the market (we had an offer a few days in but it fell through ... cue all the Caspers yelling, "boo!" but better now than days/hours/minutes before closing, I think) and it turns out that keeping your house in pristine-ish condition and being ready to vacate at the ring of the cellular isn't quite as bad as I thought. Say que ever-the-pessimist-slash-realist Grace?!
I mean. Getting jolted awake from a nap on Friday afternoon with the news that there would be a showing in fifteen minutes (many, many panicked curses) and having the potential buyers actually show up 12 minutes later and greeting them as I ran out the door with two half asleep/half crying children while carrying their shoes AND my own with my hair styled in a very Medusa-esque fashion ... wasn't that fattest barrel of laughs BUT it trumps winter + cabin fever + winter. It trumps it forever.
As fortuity would have it, Simon worked an extra special call over the weekend (24 on/24 off/24 back on) and we had a bevy of showings (a positive problem) but with a little bit of nap time finagling and quite a bit of last minute baby wiping down the bathrooms (and kitchen and and AND) we made it work with the help of a soft hospital landing (or as Julia puts it to Sebastian, "sometimes Daddy lives at home and sometimes he lives at his work, you got that?") ...
Harmony Outside the Home: A Portrait
The kids enjoyed breathtaking views of the parking lot ...
someone yank me away from the phone photo editing apps ... now.
Phoebe practiced her not-walking ...
"Oh, you want me to move one of my feet one single shuffle forward?!
"LOLOLOLOL"
"Never."
"Ever."
And the Labor + Delivery waiting rooms always look so lonely so we remedied that tragedy ...
Phoebe spotted that trachea-sized apple sauce pouch lid that fell out of my purse and is still yapping about how cruel I was for not letting her at least see how long it would take before it got lodged in her throat.
Just call me Deville for short.
I do have to say that the kids have been resilient little soldiers putting up with screwy nap schedules and occasionally missed naps and a super fun mom that may or may not have a bit of a calf over something ridiculous like 1/6th of a sock sticking out of a drawer (I hate me too).
And so with a purse full of emergency Dum-dums, three half empty (or are they full? something to ponder ... ) packs of wipes, and four pairs of 'juuuuust in case' changes of pants for the kids ... we march onward to another predictably unpredictable week.
Left, left.
Left, right, left.
Anyway. We are heading into week two of the house being on the market (we had an offer a few days in but it fell through ... cue all the Caspers yelling, "boo!" but better now than days/hours/minutes before closing, I think) and it turns out that keeping your house in pristine-ish condition and being ready to vacate at the ring of the cellular isn't quite as bad as I thought. Say que ever-the-pessimist-slash-realist Grace?!
I mean. Getting jolted awake from a nap on Friday afternoon with the news that there would be a showing in fifteen minutes (many, many panicked curses) and having the potential buyers actually show up 12 minutes later and greeting them as I ran out the door with two half asleep/half crying children while carrying their shoes AND my own with my hair styled in a very Medusa-esque fashion ... wasn't that fattest barrel of laughs BUT it trumps winter + cabin fever + winter. It trumps it forever.
As fortuity would have it, Simon worked an extra special call over the weekend (24 on/24 off/24 back on) and we had a bevy of showings (a positive problem) but with a little bit of nap time finagling and quite a bit of last minute baby wiping down the bathrooms (and kitchen and and AND) we made it work with the help of a soft hospital landing (or as Julia puts it to Sebastian, "sometimes Daddy lives at home and sometimes he lives at his work, you got that?") ...
Harmony Outside the Home: A Portrait
The kids enjoyed breathtaking views of the parking lot ...
someone yank me away from the phone photo editing apps ... now.
Phoebe practiced her not-walking ...
"Oh, you want me to move one of my feet one single shuffle forward?!
"LOLOLOLOL"
"Never."
"Ever."
And the Labor + Delivery waiting rooms always look so lonely so we remedied that tragedy ...
Phoebe spotted that trachea-sized apple sauce pouch lid that fell out of my purse and is still yapping about how cruel I was for not letting her at least see how long it would take before it got lodged in her throat.
Just call me Deville for short.
After exhausting almost every "fun" kid-friendly attraction the hospital had to offer Simon kept saying we should open one of the doors to one of the parenting classes going on and chuck all the kids inside for a little firsthand learning experience for the pupils and after FiNaLLLLLy going home and putting everyone to bed to the tune of 6:52pm I'm wondering why I didn't go along with his genius plan.
I do have to say that the kids have been resilient little soldiers putting up with screwy nap schedules and occasionally missed naps and a super fun mom that may or may not have a bit of a calf over something ridiculous like 1/6th of a sock sticking out of a drawer (I hate me too).
And so with a purse full of emergency Dum-dums, three half empty (or are they full? something to ponder ... ) packs of wipes, and four pairs of 'juuuuust in case' changes of pants for the kids ... we march onward to another predictably unpredictable week.
Left, left.
Left, right, left.
OKAY. Phoebe. To be fair when your face is that precious there really is no need for walking.
ReplyDeleteProps to all of you for surviving! Phoebe's face---oh man, TOO CUTE.
ReplyDeletePheobe, no need to walk. Let your minions carry you. Thats why they were birthed first.
ReplyDeleteThe wipes are half empty... But that's me being a pessimist after a long weekend of short sleep, long tantrums, and lots of stomach flu. I'm sure you're handling it all better than I would be, though!!
ReplyDeleteWhy are those applesauce pouch lids so damn tempting. Mine wants me to open the pouch, just so she can have the lids. Forget about the actual sauce.
ReplyDeleteMine too! He likes to put the lid on and take it off again, over and over and over. So I end up eating the applesauce QUICKLY, while he screams, then happily lids and de-lids the pouch for 10 minutes until he gets frustrated, screams, and makes me help him take it on and off again.
DeleteWhen I sold my house we made our realtor give us 24 hour notice of any showings...and we didn't even live there at the time. We just did that to make sure she could pop in and check the place out/turn on heat/air for us while we were living out of town. I know when we looked we had a lot of situations like that where we had to give the home owners 24 hours notice.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh we've def specified that ha! But we are just trying to be accommodating - when possible-ish!! I did say no the other morning when no one was fed or dressed for the day :) gotta draw the line somewhere!!
DeleteMAJOR props to you mama!! Last minute calls for showings are the worst! Don't people realize it takes 45-minutes just to locate everyone's shoes?!? Hoping it sells quickly and that the Oddessy appreciates the extra love until then!
ReplyDeleteShowing a house with small children living in it burns, like, a millennium off of purgatory time. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteOur boyos signed the van w/ Sharpies, and it (mostly) came off with hand sanitizer & baby wipes...oh kiddos! :-P
ReplyDeleteWhen our house was on the market I'd get a call for a showing and yell "SHOW READY!" and the kids would stop what they were doing and CLEAN UP. My oldest was 11, youngest 1 (almost 2) (total of 5 kids). If the house was messier than what could be cleaned up in 15 minutes I FREAKED. I was a barrel of fun. There were a few times when I had a laundry marathon going on... and I just stuck buckets of laundry in my minivan. ...
ReplyDeleteThen again the house we sold before THAT... the Realtor showed up, unannounced and without our permission. The house was a disaster. Kids skivvies on the floor, dirty dishes multiplying like bunnies... and that showing sold the house.
I hope you get an offer that sticks. Soon.
You are my hero! I read alll that-got exhausted and then realized! She's pregnant too!!! Wow! Super Mom! And house showings are no-fun!!! I have had many bad encounters that even involved me in pajamas....and all 12 (at the time of) my siblings home with my parents gone to a yardsale. It was actually hilarious-we all abandoned ship and hid in the backyard!
ReplyDeleteI don't know how you do it! Atleast you have the hospital to explore and the weather is decent! Dumdums for the win!
ReplyDelete'Tis Our Life Blog
haha oh gosh no - SO much better than NO showings. That would be so depressing!!
DeleteHoly crap. Hang in there; hopefully it will all be over soon!
ReplyDeleteThank goodness the weather is at least warm when you're rushing out of the house!! Much, much worse if it was winter! Hope it sells quickly.
ReplyDeleteThis might be your best post yet. Because you had a few lemons in there and you made them in to gilded lilies. Tampa awaits and you deserve it x1000.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with selling your house!! Pheobe is so cute! :)
ReplyDeletehttp://en.emoi-emoi.com/blog/
Good luck with selling your house!! Pheobe is so cute! :)
ReplyDeletehttp://en.emoi-emoi.com/blog/
I LOVE that 60's-ish stained glass chapel window. So familiar! You guys are the best, Grace. I admire you so much!
ReplyDeleteoh gosh - thank you Michelle!!! yes - I take it for granted so much but I think I'll miss the window ... a little bit ;)
DeleteAt least you can kinda find the humor in everything :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I can't believe Phoebe is standing! Love her!
I don't know how Phoebe's feet fit into saltwater sandals. She seems like a chunker, but maybe her feet aren't? My daughter was kinda chubby at her age and I couldn't stuff her feet into them as hard as I tried!!
ReplyDeletehaha no I stuff them in there but she's constantly bringing them to me and pretending to put them on and she's happy once they are on - so I'm guessing she'd vocalize if they didn't fit? I should get her a bigger size for summer though.
DeleteSo I'm totally repenting for all the whining about our house showings last fall. I have four kids, too, but they range from 5 to 17, don't require naps, and I'm not pregnant. Sending up a prayer to St. Joseph for a quick sale, good price. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteoh gosh - no no. that might be worse!! I honestly enjoy the clean house and it's so warm outside - it's nice for an excuse to leave the house!
Delete