THIS WAS THE YEAR. I was finally going to slay the Christmas card dragon. I love, love, love getting Christmas cards in the mail and I figured our dearly beloved would appreciate the same from us (joke font) and with technology the way it is these days -- my excuse well had run completely dry.
So, I got what I thought was a sprinting head start on Black Friday. I found a "special Black Friday" discount code for 75% off (that I thought was such a deal - which it was BUT they ran it up until about three days ago so there was no need to rush but HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW) at around 11:48pm while I was watching Gilmore Girls and giving Julia a breathing treatment thanks to an asthma flare up. I wiped imaginary sweat from my brow as I tried to beat the clock and find a design that didn't say something like, "happy paw-lidays" (we didn't have Diego yet or else I might've considered it ... don't put it past me) that fit with the photo my sister-in-law took. And, I did it! I even added a bonus photo on the back, got our names nice and centered and then I figuratively and smugly patted myself on the back, "why did I wait so long? this was a piece of CAKE!!!"
And then they came in the mail ...
So, I got what I thought was a sprinting head start on Black Friday. I found a "special Black Friday" discount code for 75% off (that I thought was such a deal - which it was BUT they ran it up until about three days ago so there was no need to rush but HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW) at around 11:48pm while I was watching Gilmore Girls and giving Julia a breathing treatment thanks to an asthma flare up. I wiped imaginary sweat from my brow as I tried to beat the clock and find a design that didn't say something like, "happy paw-lidays" (we didn't have Diego yet or else I might've considered it ... don't put it past me) that fit with the photo my sister-in-law took. And, I did it! I even added a bonus photo on the back, got our names nice and centered and then I figuratively and smugly patted myself on the back, "why did I wait so long? this was a piece of CAKE!!!"
And then they came in the mail ...
acceptable.
Theo looks like he has the worst life of all the lifes but still a success for us.
And then Simon told me that I'd forgotten Theo's name. I laughed a courtesy laugh because that is exactly the kind of dad joke that Simon loves to tell.
But he said he wasn't joking.
So I cut my courtesy cackle short and turned the card over to inspect ...
SURE ENOUGH.
But, I blamed the card company. Surely, the mistake had been on their end. How could I/would I EVER forget one of my precious angels' names on our inaugural Christmas card? So I went to inspect the proof that I had approved one million times before they accepted my payment to print. And the proof was in the proof - Sorry, T.
So, after talking to the company they gave me a pack of 20 free holiday (non-photo) cards which was nice but not going to help but luckily the discount code I had rushed to use before was stilllll going strong so I put together another card and quadruple million checked to make sure I hadn't forgotten anyone ...
check, check, check, check, check, check, and check!
And in a moment of bizarre judgment thought this was a fitting line for the back ...
... I don't know. Irony + me: a love story. Or something.
So, by this point my sprinting start is off to a limping start and I'm in dire need of stamps. I wisely decide to forgo a trip to the post office or any tangible stamp vendor and order them on Amazon. I pick the stamps that can get to our house the fastest but are still semi-festive and go about my day. The stamps come in the mail and I send out the vast majority of our cards. I even had to dip into the Theo-less cards (sorry to those recipients - consider yourselves VIPs) because I was super overzealous about sending them out to everyone. They go out in the mail and I'm left with a small batch to address and send out when I take a closer look at the stamps ...
Oh, wonderful.
Postcard stamps. I had thought the stamps seemed pretty reasonable but who was I to argue with stamp prices? Postcard stamps are 34 cents vs. regular stamps which are 47 cents and I have no idea if my postcard stamped cards will/did make it. I'm hoping that in the spirit of the season the postal worker will find it in the goodness of their hearts to take pity on an idiot but I'm not holding my idiotic breath.
Anyway, first and last year for cards? Perhaps! Perhaps.
I hope you're all having a wonderful Christmas. I've got a whole bevy of grainy Christmas morning snaps to share this week so gird your excitement.
Happy Paw-lidays!!!!
Love, G et al
As a fellow middle child. I feel you Theo.
ReplyDeleteThis post literally made me LOL. Happy Holidays!
ReplyDeleteHilarious! I did the same thing with my postage and so far USPS has been kind, but I do expect to get some back. Some family members still haven't gotten there's. I'm so relieved I'm not the only one. Love your blog. Always makes me laugh.
ReplyDeletePostable.... it will save your sanity!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for the all the hiccups but this story is hilarious. Hope the cards make it to their recipients...and not back to your mailbox!
ReplyDeleteHilarious. Love stories like these. Makes me feel not so alone. I do this stuff all the time.
ReplyDeleteWhen mailing the wedding invitations for my only daughter's wedding, I bought beautiful 47 cents stamps for the large envelopes and the RSVP envelopes. I had no idea that the stuffed large envelopes were gonna weigh a ton. So beautiful hearts, flowers, and love for the envelopes, large and RSVP, but had to add not quite so attractive extra postage to all the large envelopes. If my daughter who had every detail so well planned for everything else ever found out, she didn't say. The invitations were my only job which I say was well done except that I didn't allow that the stuffed envelopes would be so heavy.
ReplyDeleteI did something similar with our Christmas cards despite having 2 people proofread them - I'm glad I'm not the only one! And thank goodness for Costco's next day card printing.
ReplyDeleteWhat's your snapchat? 👻
ReplyDeleteI think it's just camppatton but I'm lame and private with about 4 followers right now ha
DeleteYou get an "A" for effort; that's for sure! :P I would've shrugged & sent out the 1st batch & crossed my fingers that no one paid that much attention to the names.
ReplyDelete